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Holden and I are a powder keg, one lit match away from exploding.
It’s a thrill.
A high.
A problem.
CHAPTERSIX
HOLDEN
It’s so silent that I canfeelit.
There’s an invisible hum in the air between us. Not unpleasant, but not pleasant either. Just…there. Inescapable, in the tight confines of the tent.
Cassia’s awake too.
I’m not sure how I know in the darkness, but I do. Her breathing is steady and even, almost purposefully so. While I’m making no secret of my insomnia, shifting around in my sleeping bag as I try to get more comfortable.
She probably would have had a better chance of falling asleep if Ihadstayed up later. I can hear the occasional snippet of voices or laughter drifting in from outside, suggesting everyone else is still up.
I’m not trying to keep Cassia awake. But I am wanting her to know I am. I’m hoping she’ll be the one to break the silence at some point.
Finally, after I fake cough a couple of times, she does.
“You weren’t supposed to be back yet.” Her voice is low and even, no emotion suggesting how she feels about my early return.
My hands tighten around the fabric I’m lying on. It’s too hot to have the sleeping bag zipped, so I’m just lying on top of it. “I was pissed at you when I left. I knew Dave would be cool with me staying with him for a few days after camp ended. So that’s what I was planning on. What I told everyone.”
“Then why didn’t you stay?”
There’s no motion on her side. Cassia still won’t look at me, facing the fabric of the tent instead. It’s nothing but a stretch of navy, which she’s studying like a puzzle.
“I missed you.”
We’re far past the point of quips and deflections. I’m under no illusions our relationship is in a decent place right now. That a summer of space hasn’t resulted in anything but more distance. And based on how she’s turned away, refusing to look at me, Cassia isn’t closing the gap.
“You missed me.” Her voice is flat. Unemotional. “I didn’t hear anything from you fortwo months.”
A swell of anger appears that I try to tamp down. “You asked me for space, Cassia. Now I’m the bad guy for giving it to you?”
“Nope.” She pops the P, irritation translating through the syllable. “You just reminded me exactly where I fall on your list of priorities—at the bottom. It must have been a relief to you when I asked for a break.”
She’s baiting me. Basically begging me for a reaction.
This time, I don’t try very hard to curb the anger. “It must be fucking nice, knowing exactly what everyone else is thinking and feeling all the time. You learn that in one of your animal behavior classes?”
“Yeah. Because Igo to class, instead of partying and playing basketball all the time.”
I scoff. “I’m going to college to play basketball. You knew I wasn’t a nerd when we got together.Beforewe got together. Don’t act like that’s some surprise to you.”
“We were kids, Holden. Now we’re not.”
“Yeah, people grow up. I’ve grown up. You said you weren’t happy, and you needed time. So, I gave it to you. Listened to you, like an adult.”
“That’s part of the problem.”
“So, you’re mad at me because I listened to you?”
