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I clear my throat, chickening out. “We should get to bed.”
“I’m not tired.”
She stands, my sweatshirt hanging to her mid-thigh.
My brain is still processing whatthatcomment means when she pulls my sweatshirt off—taking her t-shirt with it. The pile of fabric lands in a heap on my lap. Goosebumps rise on her skin, the moonlight barely enough illumination to see the raised texture. The dark blue material of her bikini looks black in the limited light, contrasted against her pale skin.
“Thanks for letting me borrow that.”
My tongue feels too big for my mouth. Words are a jumble in my head.
She’s gorgeous.
She’s always been gorgeous, and I’ve never been able to find the right words to convey that to her. To explain that any insecurities she has about Grace or any other girl mean nothing, because all I see is her.
“You can keep it,” I manage to choke out.
Cassia smirks. “You’re telling me to put clothes on? That’s a first.”
I want to flirt back. But I can’t forget we’re standing on shaky ground. That we just started walking forward and that sprinting might end in falling. “You’re still wearing your suit?”
She raises one eyebrow, probably wondering why I’m bothering to ask. I’m thinking the same thing. I’m also stalling, trying to figure out how to best handle this.
“I showered in it.”
I stand. “Cassia…”
“Holden…” She mimics my tone, still smirking.
I shake my head, leaning down to grab the water bucket and tossing it over the smoldering embers. They die with a low hiss, tendrils of smoke wafting upward from the damp ashes.
“That isn’t why I invited you.”
“I know. This little adventure was about hiking fifty miles and listening to Finn describe killing fish.”
My lips curve up involuntarily. This is my favorite version of Cassia—this sarcastic, unreserved one who says exactly what she’s thinking.
“It was about spending time together. Figuring out what wasn’t working, so I could fix it.”
“I just needed to know you were willing to work at it, that you were willing to meet me half-way. That you’d chase me a little.”
“I’ll chase you anywhere.”
“You’d better.”
Her hand moves farther south, and I grab it before I lose complete control. “Cassia.”
She sucks in her bottom lip, holding my gaze as she stares at me. “You don’t want to?”
“I’ve been hard since you sat in my lap two hours ago. I fucked my hand all summer, pretending it was you.Of courseI want to. What I don’t want is for you to regret this. Sex has never been an issue between us. Last night, you basically said it was all our relationship had turned into.”
I’m immensely relieved when I see her smile.
She steps into my chest, the warmth of her bare skin against mine a heady sensation that pulls a groan out of my mouth.
“I appreciate that. I really do. And I think the space this summer was good for me, as much as it sucked at the time. I could think through how I was feeling without you as a distraction. It’s not up to you tofixus. I should have told you how I was feeling sooner instead of dumping it all on you at the start of the summer. I’m trying to be better about telling you how I feel, when I’m feeling it, instead of shoving it down and waiting for it to go away. So this is me telling you…this is what I want. I want to have sex.Please.”
I scan her face, looking for any trace of hesitation and finding none.
