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I feel silly.
All summer, I tied myself up into knots. Planning what I’d do at Richmond when I saw Holden on campus. Dreading seeing a photo of him with another girl.
My tendency is always to prepare for the worst, and I’m not totally sure why. My life has never weathered any calamity significant enough to justify that pessimistic mindset.
I think it’s just my personality. I like to be prepared.
So, it’s an adjustment to realize how far I blew everything out of proportion. That not only will I not have to avoid Holden on campus or stomach seeing him with someone else, he’s showing me that he listened to what I saidandhe’s actually doing something about it.
A crease of confusion—maybe concern—appears between Holden’s eyes as I continue staring at him, motionless and silent.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I finally manage.
“I wanted to.”
“Cassia, did you have a chance to—” Eileen stops talking when she spots me and Holden. “Oh. I’m sorry. I saw the group out front and I didn’t realize you were still back here, Holden.”
“Of course they can’t follow simple instructions,” Holden mutters. “I’ll text you, Cas.”
He takes a step in my direction, then glances at Eileen and heads toward the hallway instead.
I sort of want to punch myself in the face. Talk about not appreciating a gesture.
“Holden!”
He turns as I half-jog toward him.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “This means a lot.”
He smiles, a full, beautiful one that sets off a flock of butterflies in my stomach.
“You’re welcome, flower.”
I glance at Eileen. She’s migrated to the far corner of the room, sorting through the pile of leashes that get tangled no matter how many hooks we hang up. Purposefully giving us some privacy.
I rise up on my tiptoes to kiss him. It’s soft and sweet, reminding me of our first one back in middle school. Right now, he’s the boy who begged his dad to adopt a puppy because he knew my parents wouldn’t let me have a pet of my own. Who named her after a flower.
The guy I thought I wanted. When he changed in high school—hardened, darkened—I thought we would never share a sweet moment again.
But I wouldn’t change a thing about him.
Holden smiles as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear; another perfect one. He kisses my temple, then steps away. “I’ll see you later.”
I nod and smile, watching until he disappears into the lobby. Distantly, I hear him call, “Does this look like the back of the building to you guys?”
I laugh under my breath, then turn back to the first cage that needs to be cleaned.
“You picked a good one,” Eileen repeats, passing by with a handful of leashes. She’s smiling, which is a relief to see. Lately, she’s seemed extra weighted.
This shelter is a lot to manage, and she doesn’t have any help aside from me and occasionally Jackie.
I know Holden arranged this for me, but it will have a big impact elsewhere too.
“Yeah. I did,” I agree.
* * *
I survey the huge pile of clothes on my bed, wondering how I managed to fit all this into two suitcases last year. My room looks like a tornado blew through recently.
