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The doctor walks into the room, a tall, black woman with thick hair in a knot at the nape of her neck. She sees Mikhail and smiles. "Mr. Romanov, I believe we've met before?"
Mikhail audibly sighs in relief. "Thank fuck. Someone I can trust."
The doctor raises an eyebrow. "Language, Mr. Romanov. This is a family practice here. We see children on the same floor as adults."
Mikhail gives her a sheepish look. "I'm sorry." Polina and I look at each other. Someone giving my husband a dressing down? I need her name and number.
"I don't often get to say this in a situation like this, but I have good news." She smiles.
Mikhail stands by my side and holds my hand, looking positively stricken. God, the poor man. He's seen his father die, and I happen to know that he witnessed severe casualties when he was enlisted. I also know he was engaged before me, and the woman he was engaged to ended up mysteriously dead. It seems almost everyone in his life who mattered to him has been killed, so I don't really half blame him for being out of his mind right now.
"I could use some good news,” he says on a growl. “What is it?”
"Your wife is having a baby." She smiles at me. I stare back at her.
A baby.
Mikhail stares at her, a dazed look coming over his face, another rarity.
I swear, for one second, I'm afraid he's going to cry. My husband — the most formidable person I've ever met in my life. Crying.
It makes tears spring to my own eyes, and a lump form in my throat. I feared this, even half hoped for it, but now that I have the confirmation, I'm not so sure how I feel.
"Then why the pain? Why the bleeding?"
"It's nothing to fear, Mrs. Romanov. You have what we call a subchorionic hematoma. It's a collection of blood between the uterine wall and the fetal membrane, honestly, prettycommon during pregnancy. Sometimes it does cause abdominal pain, and it does cause bleeding, but it almost always resolves itself on its own without harming you or the baby. We'll have to monitor you closely to make sure everything progresses as it should, but I have no doubt you'll be in excellent hands." She nods to Polina and Mikhail.
She's not wrong. He may have the family doctor move in with us.
"Thank you."
Mikhail pales. He swallows and licks his lips, and when he speaks, his voice is a little husky. "So my wife and the baby are okay?" She nods and gives him a few more words of assurance. "There may be some discomfort, and I'll provide some recommendations, but she should be fine."
Now that Mikhail realizes that we're safe, the tension in the room finally lets up. He leans over and holds me.
"I'm sorry, doctor. I know I overreacted."
And now another apology? They say men don’t change, but…
She waves a hand in the air. "I understand your concern."
As the doctor talks to Polina and Mikhail, I lay my head back on the pillow. I'm tired after the events of tonight. And honestly? Relieved that it wasn't something stupid Volkov’s men did. I don't want to see my Mikhail preoccupied with revenge.
On the way back home, though, I start to freak out.
I'm…pregnant. I'm having a baby. I'm not ready for this. It's not just that I'm afraid I won't be a good enough mother, it's that I'm taking a whole other step of intimacy with Mikhail.
I feel like even though I've gotten to know him a lot better, we still have so much to learn about each other. And it's absolutely terrifying to me to imagine raising a child in this atmosphere. In this family. What if I don't want a baby?
I'm quiet on the ride home. I already feel like I am taking a next step I'm not ready for.
But my biggest fear of all? What if he only wants to be with me so I can be his baby mama? What if I am not enough?
My entire life, I’ve battled a fear of not being enough. And now, I'm nothing more than a woman who will bear his child.
But when we get back to the house, I have my doubts. Mikhail leads me in with such tender care, I can't help but feel maybe he really does love me.
When I first got here, I feared falling in love with the man that had captured me. But now that I know who that man is, a part of me – a very small part of me – can't really imagine being in love with anybody else. After truly experiencing the full blaze ofa heated sun, I can't go back to the shade of who I was before. I might be burned standing next to my Mikhail Romanov, but I couldn't imagine my life any other way.
