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His hands twitch by his sides as if he wants to place them on my hips but is restraining himself. His chest heaves with shallow breaths.
“You’ll always be stuck with me,” he whispers. “I can’t just… I can’t just fade away.”
“Fade away?” My voice rises in pitch.
“You’ll never just have your mate, Aliana.” Chase’s voice is uncharacteristically gentle, even as his green eyes glimmer with unshed tears. “It’ll always be him and me. Em thinks that I won’t even age—that I’ll be stuck like this forever, with him inside of me.” He laughs, but the noise is dry and humorless, the scratching of fingernails against a chalkboard. “I’m sorry, Aliana. If I could fade away, I would?—”
“You stop this nonsense right the fuck now!” I’m suddenly angry. Furious, even.
I knew I should’ve had this conversation earlier, but I thought I was being a stubborn ass, when actually I was being a coward. Now, my fear is coming back to bite me in the ass.
How could Chase think this about himself?
How could he believe that I’d want him to fade away?
“I want you to listen to me closely, Chase. And Em, you too. I want you to listen too.” I take a deep breath to gather my courage, drawing lungfuls of air. “I love you. Both of you. I don’t know when it happened or how, but I don’t want you tofade away, Chase. And I don’t want you to fade either, Em. I love you both. This may be fucked up, but I’mhappyEm’s trapped in your body. Because that means you won’t die on me, and I won’t have to lose you. I love you both and?—”
Chase grabs hold of my hips and stands as he yanks my lips to his.
And. I. See. Fireworks.
45
ALIANA
Chaseunexpectedly breaks off our kiss, staring down at me. Though his tongue doesn’t move, his gaze speaks volumes, and I understand each and every word. I lean in and brush my lips over the smooth cut of his jaw.
“Yes,” I whisper along his skin, answering the question he didn’t ask.
His arms sweep around me then and scoop me up into a bridal carry as if I weigh nothing. Our grins are a matching set full of eager anticipation and giddiness as he carries me sideways through the open balcony door.
I can’t help but reach up and run a hand through his moonlit blond hair, sighing at how beautiful he looks. Chase has always been a gorgeous specimen of a man. But now that he’s mine? Now that I know he and Em are aware of how I truly feel, under the layers of everyday agitation and the monotony of quibbling?
I’ve spoken aloud about the tenderness throbbing inside of me, that tug to be with them, and it’s as if I’ve freed up some part of myself that was tight and twisted by holding back.
I’m done holding back.
Upon entering the living room of the presidential suite my monsters have commandeered, I spot the rest of my mates scattered around the room. My father’s gone, but Creep lounges sideways across an armchair, an old book clutched in his hands.
Tesq is lighting candles in the numerous candelabras he’s scouted out and set around the room, from old silver pieces that are blackened by age and new crystal contraptions that are abstract shapes. He’s created an eclectic collection to light our evenings, and he wears a soft smile in the flickering glow of the newest candle.
Dev has set up a wooden panel in the corner of the room and is halfway through an abstract painting. He’s not quite relaxed, but his posture is full of intense concentration as he leans forward and adds a tiny splotch of color.
They’re totally pretending they weren’t spying on me during my talk with Tennious. Idiots.
Butmyidiots.
“Clear out. Aliana and I need some alone time,” Em declares.
Immediately, Dev stiffens and turns. Tesq freezes, candles flickering in his hand due to the breeze brought in by the open door behind us.
Creep closes his book and glances over at me. “Shouldn’t you take her in a bed the first time?”
“So you can be jerking off under it?” Em rolls his eyes.
“What happened to sharing?” Dev calls out, having done a complete one-eighty on the sharing front. He’s now an enthusiastic proponent of it.
“It’s my first time. Not happening. Get out!” Em commands, and with a wave of his hand, Fluffy, who was just stalking into the room, slides back into the dining room.
