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A zing of pain blasts through me.Not literally, dipshit!
He relaxes my jaw as he gripes,Well, why did you tell me to do it, then?
It's a turn of phrase. It means stop talking. Look at her! She's clearly not ready for what we feel for her.
That's what I told her.
You shouldn't have even done that. You put your foot in your mouth,I seethe.
Silence greets my mind for a beat.
That's another stupid human saying, isn't it?
Yup.
I gaze in frustration at Aliana's receding hourglass silhouette as we follow her through the maze of the subway. As if my arguments earlier with her weren't awful enough, now Empty's gone out there and put feelings on the table, making shit awkward before we've even had a shot at redeeming ourselves.
And worse...I'm associated with his fuck-up. My face is all over it.
When we finally are able to separate, is she even going to be able to disassociate her memories of the shit he's done in my body from me? What chance is there of that? Ugh, I'm pretty sure I'm swimming through an entire river of shit, one worse than the trash-filled Hudson River.
I groan and wrest control from Empty so I can run a hand through my hair in a move full of exasperation but also grief. I'd almost rather go back to being tortured because angst and embarrassment are the most toxic combination.
Anxiety is sewing up my chest in an uneven mess of stitches, just like the ones I had to get on my knee after my first raid at the age of seven. The feeling is tight and uncomfortable, painful in an unnatural way. I'm a breath away from rejection, and Aliana's rejection isn't something I'm certain I can survive.
I don't like this emotion,Em says inside my head, then smacks our lips as if he tastes foreboding and the sour coating it leaves on my tongue.
Yeah, being an asshole's easier,I agree.
Why doesn't Aliana like assholes?
Unsure. A lot of women do.
Yes. A lot of monsters too. In fact, most monsters prefer it. The bigger an asshole you are, the greater your chance of survival. Of having shit. Providing. It's basic alphanomics.Em sounds smug as shit.
I honestly didn't think we'd ever make it to this point and be able to have this conversation.
You? I was certain we'd die in this weak body.
Aw, thanks, dickhead. But same.
We walk past a group of squealing rats, and my stomach grumbles, reminding me that I haven't eaten in days. I hope wherever Aliana's taking us has food. I know she won first dibs and all, but I'm literally starving.
Part of me is side-eyeing the rats scurrying along the tunnel edges and wondering if we have enough time to slow down and set a trap for them. I dive down the rabbit hole—no pun intended—thinking about how I could stew them up, how good they'd taste with some water and a can of tomato paste. I'm so hungry that I can practically imagine their taste.
I've moved on from our prior conversation until Empty asks, in a whisper of thought that's soft and small,How do we get her to love us? Can we? Without mate bonds? Is love even real for humans?
Way to start an existential crisis.
Stop it with the stupid human sayings, or the second I leave this body, I'm going to roast your testicles with rosemary potatoes.
My body is most definitely sidetracked by the mention of rosemary potatoes, barely registering the threat at all. Mymouth starts watering, and I nearly miss a tooth that springs out of a stairwell that descends from the street above. The figure has what looks like live wires that give off sparks as he arches through the air toward Aliana with a screech.
She doesn't flinch. Doesn't hesitate. Just reaches out and snags the monster by the hair before quickly snapping its neck.
That's fucking hot,Empty groans as he yanks control away from me and reaches down to palm my dick through my ripped pants.
Of course, that's the very second Aliana glances back. Her eyes roll as she picks up the monster corpse and slings it over her shoulder.
