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And now, she seems to have some sort of power too, which just increases the divide between us, expanding it into a canyon that seems nearly impossible to cross.
As soon as we returned to Tesq’s hideout, I volunteered Em and myself for guard duty. I didn't think I could stay in that room a second longer, watching some of the scariest monsters known to mankind pleasure the woman I love.
I thought I would be jealous seeing her with the others,Em continues, oblivious to my turmoil.But that was fucking hot! Can we jack one off? Pretty please? I’m so fucking hard right now, it’s ridiculous.
No. We’re not going to masturbate.I grunt and fold my arms over my chest, scowling at nothing in particular.
The subway tunnel is quiet and empty—which is exactly what we want but also makes everything immensely eerie. The dank, moist air pervades my nostrils with each inhale, bringing with it the smell of coppery blood, decaying flesh, and piss.
You’re a party pooper.
We’re on guard. Now shut up, and…guard.
Em’s quiet for a moment. But just a moment. I swear this monster loves to hear himself talk more than any person I’ve ever met. Errr. Any monster.
Do you think Aliana looked at me while she came? I swore we made sweet, beautiful eye contact…
We’re not having this conversation.My scowl deepens.
I still have to finish winning her over.He pushes an image into my head of himself rubbing his chin in deep contemplation—well, my chin. Our chin? I still can’t wrap my head around the fact I’m sharing a body with none other than the Empty Man himself.
Yeah, well, good luck with that,I gripe.
Where do you think I can get chocolates? And roses? And jewelry? Women like jewelry, do they not? What about water guns? Yes…I think I’m going to get my little mate water guns.
I’ve been tuning him out, my attention fixed on the left tunnel, when Em’s words penetrate my pity-induced daze.
Water guns?
I read an article that said women like water guns.He speaks so matter-of-factly, I can’t decide if he’s joking or not.
It’s always hard to tell with him since his perpetual state seems to be “sarcastic” with a heaping side of “irreverent.”
Why the fuck would you get Aliana water guns?
So we can have a water gun fight, of course. I swear, sometimes you’re intentionally daft…
“I don’t even have a response to that,” I say out loud, scrubbing my hand through my tousled blond hair.
I cleaned myself the best I could, considering the fact I was too chickenshit to actually jump into the shark-infested water, but at least I don’t stink anymore.
You have a response by claiming you don’t have a response.
Em’s logic. I fucking swear…
“You can’t reason with stupid.”
Don’t make me take control of the body, pretty boy.
I snort. “Yeah, right. You love to give me control of my body when we’re doing boring shit, like guard duty.”
I’m stronger than I was when Em first entered me—god, that sounds so fucking sexual even in my head—but nowhere near powerful enough to stop Em from taking over if he ever felt so inclined. And a part of me is terrified that if I choose to fight back, if I push against the intrusion, Em will make me disappear for good.
I’ll never make you disappear.Emotion burns and crackles in his voice like an out-of-control fire.I can’t promise you Aliana or a future free of me or anything like that…but I can promise I won’t push you away.
This is my body, not yours.My anger builds and builds and builds, like a snowball rolling down a hill.
I know.
