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I stareacross the water as Uni slides beneath the muddy waves of the Hudson River, off to spy on our behalf.
On either side of me are his precious dolls, whom I’ve sworn to guard with my life. I glance over and exchange a long-suffering look with Fluffy because, while I do enjoy human-made curiosities, the pressure of keeping these two dolls feels like a weight on my shoulders.
It also leaves me tethered here in the clearing where we met with Uni while Dev goes off to search for our mate. I don’t dare pick up these dolls. What if the lava in my hands suddenly activates? I’m still learning to control it.
As if my tiger can sense my unease, she comes over and shoves her head underneath my palm.
That gesture alone, so common between us, sets off alarm bells, and I quickly retract my palm and check it for glowing orange lines before settling it back onto her head and giving her a pet.
“Thanks, girl,” I tell her solemnly.
“How did you get Aliana to fall in love with you?” Em calls out from his spot on the other side of the clearing.
I turn to see his face, half painted blue with moonlight and half in shadow. His lips are twisted, as if he may already regret asking the question, but his green eyes are steady as they stare at me.
His question is as startling as it is baffling. “I…don’t know.”
Frustration fills the air when he steps forward and glares at me. “That’s not an answer.”
It’s not. I know it’s not.
At my hip, Fluffy growls, showing her teeth to him, but I gently rub her ears and whisper, “It’s okay, girl.”
“I read a human magazine about courtship, but clearly it’s full of shit and not working because Aliana is part monster.” Em tilts his head, and his eyes burn with a desperation I recognize, a desperation I felt inside my own chest for years, the ache of wanting.
Wanting to be worthy. Wanting to be lucky. Wanting to be someone else.
I try to keep pity from my expression as I turn my gaze to my stone feet. “I was…nice?”
It ends up sounding like a question because I’m not sure it’s the right answer or even the reason she cares for me.
I am certain she cares though, which is as strange and wonderful in an utterly beguiling way because I don’t understand it at all. Kind of like the human circus. Who wouldwant to jump through a hoop of fire for fun? Why is that entertainment?
There are things in the world that I don't understand. Her emotions are one of them. It’s why I can’t do anything more than offer a shrug to Em when he stares at me expectantly.
“I told you!” Em mutters under his breath as he half turns away from me.
Oh, wait, that’s not Em. It’s now Chase controlling the body in front of me. He stands differently, a little more hunched. Less…strutty. Honestly, though, it’s confusing to know who’s in charge. They should carry a stick. Red side up for Em talking, blue side for Chase.
I sigh.
“I don’t know how love works.” I search for the right words, though I’m pretty certain I’m terrible at this. “I just know I will do anything for her.”
Chase runs a hand through his blond hair, and I marvel at the irony that a man as attractive, even beautiful, as he is should struggle with love. I always blamed my hideous appearance, always assumed that I was too frightening for anyone to love. Aliana has shown me love is more than skin deep, however. It’s a feeling that soaks right into your bones and transforms you from the inside out.
“She won’t let me do anything for her, though,” he grouses in frustration. “She thinks anything I do to help her is an attempt to hold her back. I’ve tried to help her escape when we were captured. She mocked me for being stupid. She wouldn’t even let me walk in front of her when she rescued me from that building.” He shakes his head in despair.
“But she insisted on rescuing you,” I remind him. “She argued with all of us. Insisted on going. Insisted on separating. And she was the one who found you.”
“So?” I can tell Em’s taking control of the body again when he throws his arms wide, pacing in his frustration.
“So…I’m not good at words. What if she’s not good either?”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“She did whatever it took. To protect you.” My words are halting, sentences incomplete as I try to slowly walk Em through my thought process. “Maybe she just needs time.”
“Time for what?”
