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“Or maybe it’s deciding what you’re going to focus on.”
“Oh.”
“I suppose it’s a little bit of positive thinking, but if you’re married to someone, shouldn’t you look for the best?”
“I guess I never really thought about it. I wasn’t raised the way you were.”
“What kind of relationship do you want?”
“I guess I just want a relationship where my husband takes care of me, takes care of my children, and while I expected to hold down a job, I just wanted him to pull his weight too, you know? Like the man is supposed to be the provider or whatever, and the woman takes care of the kids, although it would be nice to have help with that.”
“I think that’s biblical. The Bible does command the man to be the protector, and it actually says that the man who won’t provide for his own house is worse than an infidel.”
“Does it really?” she asked, and then she said, “What’s an infidel?”
He laughed. “An unbeliever, I guess.”
“All right.”
“And it does say that the women are supposed to be the keepers at home. That she is supposed to care for the children. But, I do think that it takes both the husband and wife, a mom and dad, not just to keep the house, but raise the children. It’s just...working together, figuring out what works for both of you. And not being so rigid and expecting everything that you think is the only right way, and that anything anyone else thinks is absolutely wrong.”
“I suppose that’s bad for anything.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think we could ever have a relationship like your parents?” she asked, and her fingers moved a little, twitching, like maybe she was thinking about moving them to touch him, but she just couldn’t quite get there.
“I hope. I guess that’s my ideal. Not that I’m holding you to a high standard, because I really think that their relationship was because of my dad. I mean, my mom was an awesome woman, and I loved her. But, my dad was the one who made sure that they got along. He was the first to apologize. He was the leader. There was never any question about whether or not he was the head of our home. But he didn’t lead with such an iron fist that my mom was browbeaten into submission.”
“Submission. That’s a disgusting word.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah. It’s like slaves or something. Like, back in the olden days when the woman was a slave to the man.”
He didn’t say anything about that. Submission was biblical. Both man submitting to God, and a wife submitting to her husband. It was the Bible way. But he didn’t want to argue about it now. Although, he supposed now was the best time. If his wife wasn’t going to be submissive... Did he want to get married?
He probably shouldn’t.
“I guess the most important thing to me is to have a marriage based on biblical principles.”
“You mean, using the Bible to make decisions?”
“Sure. If God lays out the way He wants a marriage to be in the Bible, shouldn’t we follow that?”
“Isn’t that old-fashioned?”
“Do you think God is with the program? Don’t you think His principles are timeless?”
“That’s a good point.” She seemed to be considering that, and he didn’t say anything else. Maybe he shouldn’t consider marriage tosomeone who didn’t believe everything he did, but if they could agree on that one thing, that the Bible was the authority between them, then everything else would fall into place, if they were both striving to live toward that. He felt like that was the most important thing to establish. Whether or not a person was submissive, or anything else, all fell under the umbrella of believing the Bible was the inspired Word of God.
“I guess I haven’t been a Christian long enough to know everything the Bible says, but I do want to follow it. If God took the time to write down everything He thought we should do, I suppose it would be foolish of me to say that I was Christian, that I believed God, but I don’t do everything He tells me to because... I just don’t want to, I guess.”
“That’s all you needed to say to convince me.”
She laughed a little. “Really?”
“Yeah. As long as we believe the Bible is the final authority, I don’t think we’ll have any trouble.”
