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“Sure,” she said softly, feeling defeated and not having the energy to hide it.
“My office?”
She nodded and then followed as he led the way. Another time or another place, she might have admired the broad shoulders, long legs, the confident stride, the way his arms swung a little at his sides, like he knew what he was doing and who he was.
She envied that to a point. She had gotten out of where she was, because she returned to the religion of her childhood. Too late to undo a lot of the mistakes—she understood that just because she became a Christian didn’t negate the fact that she would be reaping what she sowed for a long time.
It also didn’t change the fact that she was determined to sow new crops. They wouldn’t help her today, most of them anyway, but eventually, down the road, she would have a better harvest than what she could currently expect.
Still, she hadn’t gotten to the point where she had the kind of confidence that Ezra displayed. Maybe she never would.
He held the door, waiting for her to walk through it before he closed it behind her.
She put her arms around her waist and squeezed tight. Knowing that it wasn’t exactly a confident look, but her stomach felt like it was going to run away, and she felt like she needed to hold it in.
“You can sit down if you want to,” Ezra said, and his voice held compassion. He could be very commanding, and he often was. In the few days that she’d been here, she heard him issue orders with a rapid-fire, almost drill sergeant mentality. But he always used a softer, kinder tone on her. It had annoyed her, as much as she had appreciated it. After all, she didn’t want to be treated with kid gloves. She was strong, capable, and could take care of herself.
Except, she kind of liked that he seemed to want to take care of her. Right now, she definitely wanted to let him.
“No thank you. I understand what you need to say. I brought this to your ranch, and everyone is in danger because of me. Thankfully, he was only after me.”
“We’re not thankful about that.” He interrupted her, and gave her a look, before he turned around and walked over to the window. She’d seen him stand there multiple times. It seemed to be where he went when he needed to think. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared out.
“All right. Whatever. I know I have to go.”
She didn’t need this to drag on. In fact, she didn’t wait for him to say anything but turned and took two steps toward the door.
“Wait,” he said, his voice commanding. And then it softened with the request, “Please?”
It was the “please” that did it for her. That and the little bit of time that she spent with this family, she’d come to respect and appreciate them. It was easy to see that they were hardworking and did not expect anyone to hand them anything. She could admire people who worked for what they had. She hoped to be one of them. She didn’t want to keep them from being successful, and she definitely didn’t want any of them to get hurt.
“I heard bits and pieces. I understand that Asher, especially, wants me to go.”
“He’s the most vocal. The other ones will be okay whatever we decide.”
He had said “we.” Like she had some say in it.
“I don’t see that there’s any other decision to make. Unless you have a ranch somewhere far away, like Florida?”
He snorted. “I can’t say that might not be an idea that’s crossed my mind in the middle of the North Dakota winter.”
He was laughing? Not really. His lip turned up, and it was more emotion than he typically displayed.
“I take it that’s a no,” she said, unwilling to be drawn into a lighter moment. This was serious. This was her life. This was the life of her children.
“That’s a no. This is the place we have. We sold the ranch in Wyoming, and this is all we have.”
“Well, it’s more than I have,” she said, starting to turn back around.
“Do you want to listen to what I have to say?”
“I can’t imagine that you’re going to say anything that is going to change things.”
“Well, this is a setback for the ranch. I don’t need to talk to you about the financial situation, but we’re new, and it’s going to take a little while until we’re solid in that area. Not gonna lie.”
“I didn’t think you could.”
“I think any man can do pretty much anything, so keep that in mind. It’s only through the grace of God that man will not fall into sin, especially when he’s tempted.”
