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“When I didn’t?” I ask.
“We tried to track you,” Brae drops a bomb that makes my heart thud in hopefulness.
“The trail was cold. You left your phone so we couldn’t call. We even tried to go to Tiffany’s family with no luck—apparently, they moved with no trace. We waited. We worried the longer you were gone. Dad told us to give it up. He wanted us to move on and assume our roles in the pack.” Draden shifts in his seat. “He wanted me to take over the role when he was ready. He started to groom me as he did you. Only, it was worse. He became harder. Stricter with me.” He gulps. “I didn’t adjust well.”
“I imagine,” I whisper, tipping my hat back.
“I was seriously lacking in his eyes. I couldn’t do or say anything right. We were still young and we didn’t know what to do.” Draden gestures helplessly. “I hated everything. I was so fucking angry. You were gone. You were the one that held the three of us together. We felt abandoned by you.” I start to protest automatically and he flattens his palm towards me. “We know now that wasn’t the case, but then, we felt it regardless. I triedto be what he wanted and failed. I tried to be the brother to Brae that he needed and failed. We both tried to find you, again and again with no luck.
“I was so fucking angry at life and everyone in it. Our relationship suffered,” he says, motioning to Brae. “We fought all the time. I fought with Dad and Mom. I hated them both for different reasons. I hated you for leaving us and Brae for not being strong enough to take your place,” he confesses.
“Draden,” I sigh.
“I know most of it was unwarranted, but I couldn’t help it.”
“Things got bad with Dad. And us,” Brae says. “Draden left after a huge fight with Dad a few years after you left. He left everything behind. Including me.” The hurt still oozes from him.
“I tried to build a life away from everyone. I made some stupid, reckless mistakes and paid for them. Brae found me two years later, drunk off my ass in a bar. He picked me up, sobered me up, and chewed me out.” He smiles slightly. “He saved me. He saved me after all the hurtful things I spewed at him. I owe him my life.”
“Fuck that,” Brae spits. “It was truly for selfish reasons. I needed my brother back so we could continue to search for Elijah.”
“You didn’t search for me,” I deny. “It’s been so many years.”
“We did, brother,” Brae says. “We even hired an investigator.”
“What?” I ask weakly.
“He was total shit,” Draden laughs. “He cost a lot of money and didn’t find anything.”
“I found you. I saw you,” I say accusingly, pointing a finger at Draden.
“When? What was I doing? Where?” he asks rapidly.
“You were in a bar, dancing with a woman. She was blonde and seemed really into you. It was in a small town—”
“A biker bar?” he interrupts me.
“Yes,” I confirm.
“Elijah, I was drunk off my ass. That was my lowest point. The woman I was dancing with was someone that supplied me with the powder that I put in my drinks to allow me to get the most out of alcohol. It takes so much for shifters to get drunk that I needed the help to keep me in that state. She was a witch I met. She made the powder and gave it to me at a price.” He cringes.
“What price?”
He turns away from me, staring into the dark around us. “I slept with her. She wanted to experience sex with a shifter,” he says shamefully. “It’s one of the many sick things I did.”
“Draden,” Brae scolds.
“I know. It’s hard to forgive myself.”
“Brother,” I say, his pain affecting me deeply.
“Fuck it,” he spits. “I just want our brother back. We didn’t intentionally leave you. We want you back in our lives. We want to be a family again.”
“What about Dad?”
“We haven’t been back,” Brae says. “We have no idea what he’s doing and we don’t care.”
We fall silent. I feel their honesty and pain. I believe everything. I want my brothers back too.
