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“Penny,” she says again, but I shake my head as the tears start flowing more freely.
“I just want to go home and be alone, Asher,” I say, sniffing. “Please.”
Asher nods. “Okay, but only if you promise to text me later.”
“I will,” I say, turning to where the car is pulling up again. Peter opens the door for me before getting in himself in the front. I don’t even care about Currie and Peter being in the car. I put my face in my hands, and I start to sob.
All my insecurities, my smallness, and all my worries come flooding back. I feel so inadequate all over again and realize that Kervyn has been telling me I’m sexy and beautiful, and I was starting to believe it. I believed the lies of it. He was just trying to be nice because hehasto marry me. It’s not a choice. I doubt anyone in the world would choose me.
We reach the house, and I walk in and hurry upstairs to my room, falling onto my bed and sobbing into the pillow. I mustdoze off because when I open my eyes, Kervyn is covering me with a comforter.
“I didn’t want to wake you, but you looked cold,” he says quietly. “You’ve been crying.”
“Did everyone tell you?” I ask sadly.
“Your face is tear-streaked.”
I sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed.
He sits beside me and nudges me. “Hey. I can help if you tell me what it is.”
“It’s not something you can help fix with a lie,” I say bitterly.
“When have I lied to you?” he asks, frowning. “Who said I lied to you?”
“You keep saying things like I’m beautiful and I’m sexy, and it’s not true. None of it is true. Asher wants to pretend being curvy is sexy, but it’s not. I’m ugly.” I burst into tears, and Kervyn wraps his arms around me and pulls my head to his chest. He strokes my hair gently.
“What happened today that brought this on?” he asks. “Who said you were ugly?”
I keep resting against him as I explain about Carmen and the things she said.
“Well, I guess I am kind of a deadbeat,” he says, gently resting his chin on my head. “But nothing else is true, Penny. I wouldn’t lie about your beauty. Do you think I’ve pleasured you because I pity you or because I find it attractive?”
I blush crimson. Thankfully, he doesn’t make me look him in the eyes. “Hmmm?”
“I guess you find me attractive,” I say quietly.
“Who is this chick to you anyway?”
Now, I lift myself from his arms and stare miserably into my hands. “Carmen. I worked with her, or rather against her, at my old job. I’m supposed to be flying to Spain or Portugal around now to celebrate.” I sigh.
“Celebrate what? Work?” he asks.
“A promotion that should have been mine. You see, I worked my ass off from the moment I started at that company, and this year a lead manager’s position was going to become available. Everyone, even that dumb bitch Carmen, knew there was no competing with me for that job. When I got to work on the day, I overheard my manager saying I was perfect for the job but couldn’t represent the company because I didn’t look after myself.” I look at him pointedly. “Because I’m curvy.”
“You got sexy curves. You’re a bit fuller than most girls think is pretty, but that doesn’t matter,” he says. “You did the job. You deserved the promotion.”
“Well, they gave it to Carmen because they prefer a confident athletic girl to a curvy woman,” I say with a reluctant smile. “And even though I’ve been sleeping with a king, I am still an insecure little girl with little confidence.”
“It’s there,” he says, tilting my chin up to look at him. “It’s there because I’ve seen it. I see it when we’re together, alone, and I see it when we make love.”
It’s the first time he’s called it that, and I blush slightly.
He smiles. “You just need to tap into it. Do you want me to deal with this Carmen for you? Until you’re ready to do it yourself?”
I don’t exactly want to kill her, which I assume is what he’s saying. I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. If you had to take care of every person who’d hurt me, we’d be here all year.”
He smiles and leans down, kissing my cheek softly. “I don’t keep you around just because you’re smart, you know.”
