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Even after Laura’s left the office, the guilt of our conversation lingers over me.
I didn’t mean to be so harsh with her. After all, I knew she was young when we first got together. I knew that she would not be at the same level as me.
She was… “Immature” is the word I keep going back to. She was immature to think that telling someone—and then letting that someone come into my office—was not going to backfire.
Does she not understand that it’s more than just the office gossip at risk? My reputation—as a lawyer, as a boss, as a man—is at risk. Her reputation is just as vulnerable, if not more. If people thought she slept her way into this job… Well, not even my strings could help her there.
But, of course, it is unfair for me to expect her not to be immature. Of course, it’s unfair for me to think she is prepared for a relationship like this.
This is why you don’t date women half your age,I think.
I sigh heavily and push away from the desk.
Laura has been gone for an hour, and I haven’t gotten anything done.
My mind just keeps circling back to the one truth that I don’t want to acknowledge—I shouldn’t have done this.
I should never have slept with Laura. I should never have let it get this far.
I’ve been too enthralled by her. I missed that she was reading more into this than I could ever offer.
Even if she’s right, even if telling others is not the same as attributing seriousness to the relationship, it just makes the consequences so much more likely.
You weren’t thinking about consequences this morning,I think.
I stand up. Running my hands through my hair, I look out the window.
I hate this fucking view.
Or, maybe I don’t. Maybe I do. I don’t know anything right now.
“Mr. Donovan, if you are quite done contemplating how heavy the world is on your shoulders, might I remind you it’s lunchtime?”
Piper’s wry voice interrupts my thoughts.
I turn to her, sighing. She leans against the doorframe, frowning at me.
“Seriously, sir,” she says, coming inside. “I don’t mean to be dramatic, but youwillwaste away.”
I roll my eyes. “Piper, you are released from duty.” I wave a hand at her. “Enjoy lunch.”
She raps her knuckles against the door frame and nods. “Well, consider eating something.”
Piper leaves, closing the door behind her. I know that she’s right—skipping lunch is not uncommon for me, but itdoesalways make me persnickety.
I do my rounds. The office is quiet at this time of day. People are either just coming back from or about to head out for lunch.I know that seeing me strikes the fear of god in a lot of them, so I normally try to limit a round to one time a day. But I can’t help it today. I’m antsy.
When I get to Laura’s office, I see she’s not there yet. The other attorney who started at the same time as her is at the desk, though.
I try to remember her name.
When I can’t, she looks up at me, frowning.
“Uh, hi,” she says. “Can I help you, sir?”
“When Miss James returns, can you please tell her I’d like to see her?” The words come out before I can think better of them.
The woman’s eyes widen, and she nods quickly. I get out of there fast before I can dig myself into a bigger hole.
