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It was all fake.
I thought through every mission, every time I came into conflict with the trackers and struggled to survive.
Had there ever been any clue the shuttlecraft was nothing more than an empty prop packed with explosives?
No. But it sounded like something the Changelings would do. It was the kind of thing they were known for. They used sneaky underhand tactics to get the result they wanted. So why not lie about the shuttlecraft too?
For countless days and nights, I had dreamed about reaching that shuttlecraft. If only I could manage it with one of the female aliens I’d been partnered with, then we would be safe. I would protect her and help her back to her homeworld. But I would never stay with her. My love wasn’t real, even if hers was.
It turned out the hope I had attached to that shuttlecraft wasn’t real either.
“I thought, maybe, you knew,” Maddy said. “That you sacrificed those girls to save yourself. But I should have known better. You’re not like that.”
She pressed her body against me. My tense muscles eased as she relaxed into me. She was careful where she placed her hands, but no matter where she put them, it hurt.
“What I don’t understand is why you did it,” she said. “Why did you go along with it?”
“Because I had no choice,” I said.
It was the piece of information Stari didn’t know, the morsel Maddy couldn’t know either.
“You always have a choice,” she said. “You could have refused.”
“They would have found someone else to do it. Maybe someone who wouldn’t be kind to the girls. Maybe someone with a wife and kids back home.”
“Was anything you told me true?”
“Yes. Everything I said was the truth. I just… left out certain details.”
“Certain details?” Maddy said, nostrils flaring.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be forced to do something like that,” I said. “You don’t know what it’s like to keep a secret you know will lead to an innocent girl’s death if you don’t keep it.”
“I know what it’s like to have to be forced to do something. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Why we’re all here.”
“I watched those girls die!” I yelled. “I had to make them fall in love with me so we could reach that shuttlecraft. And now it turns out even that wasn’t real! I failed them all. One by one. I thought if I kept going, if I kept trying, eventually I could be successful. I would step on a shuttlecraft and take her to safety.”
I shook my head. I felt sick to my stomach. It was worse than I could have possibly imagined.
“I did this because otherwise, the Changelings were going to hurt my family,” I said. “That farm I told you about? And the abduction? It’s real. They tried to take them. I don’t know how they would have used them, but I couldn’t let it happen. So, I rescued them and took their place. The Changelings threatened to kill them if I didn’t do as they said. So long as I played along in their games, they would be safe.”
I reached for Maddy’s hands. I hated that I wasn’t sure if she would refuse my touch. But she let me wrap my hands around hers.
“It was all a show until I met you,” I said.
“Did you ever really love me?” she said. “Or was it fake too? The same performance you played on everybody else?”
“No,” I said, kissing her hands. “None of it was fake. Never with you. I knew nothing about you when we met but as I got to know you, I fell head over heels in love with you. I’ve never felt like this with anyone. And I’ll never feel like this again. I didn’t want you to see me like this because I don’t want you to be disappointed. I couldn’t face it if you pitied me.”
She reached up and placed a hand to my scarred cheek. She gently rubbed it with her thumb.
“I could never look at you with anything but love,” she said.
Tears sprung into her eyes and shimmered. I found the same tears in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” Maddy said. “The Yayora know where the Control Room is. They’re going to destroy it. Then we’re going to escape from here. They’ll take us home.”
Wherever we went, it would be home so long as I was with her. My one true love. We were this close to leaving this damn place and I couldn’t be happier.
