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“Oh!” he said, pressing his hands to his cheeks. “Please tell me you are the ice from which I must carve my genius! Please tell me this is so!”
Vicky glanced at me uncertainly.
“Uh, it is so,” she said.
Me’ell pressed his hands to his face and let out a high-pitched scream. It made Vicky start.
“I have always dreamed of working on such a fine beautiful specimen of the feminine form!” he said. “Tell me, from which cloud did you descend?”
Vicky hesitated before she answered.
“Earth?” she said.
“Earth!” Me’ell said. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it. But I shall! And I will turn you into the most beautiful Earthling the galaxy has ever seen! You have wonderful bone structure. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“No.”
“And your hair! It’s so thick and bouncy!”
“I’ve got a bad case of bed head.”
Me’ell waved away her concerns with a flamboyant flutter of his hand.
“Nonsense!” he said. “The very best hair is that which has a mind of its own. Not flimsy and flat and boring. We want to tame the hair! We want to bend it to our will! And we shall!”
Me’ell clicked his fingers at me and motioned to his bag without looking.
What was I supposed to do? Wrestle with it?
“My bag! My bag!” Me’ell said. “I require my tools!”
I had no idea how to open the damn thing. It wasn’t like it was my job. I moved into the kitchen, deciding to give myself a job before he gave me one.
“Coffee?” I said.
“Black,” Me’ell said. “And thick.”
I readjusted the settings on the machine. Me’ell dug in the front pocket and came out with a pair of combs. He never ran them through Vicky’s hair. Instead, he framed her face with them.
“Yes,” he said. “Yes, I see you. My girl, you are going to be the most beautiful thing to have ever graced any room anywhere!”
“The event will be a high-class affair,” I said, a little concerned at Me’ell’s flamboyant nature.
If he turned Vicky into someone who looked like him…
Mom would think I was dating a clown.
“All Me’ell does is high-class affairs!” Me’ell said.
He extended his elbow to Vicky.
“Come, my girl,” he said. “Let us discover the beauty that lies within and bring it out into the light!”
Vicky grinned around a mouthful of teeth. She looked both excited and terrified at the same time.
I knew exactly how she felt.
One thing about Me’ell was this:
