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I put my fork down and gave her my full attention.
“I was thinking,” she said. “You’ll need all the help you can get with the wounded tomorrow… And, I am a qualified nurse…”
She didn’t look me in the eye when she said it. She knew I wouldn’t like it.
“We have many Titan medics,” I said.
She wanted to join the fight and put herself in harm’s way.
I couldn’t let that happen.
“I have experience and training,” she said.
“Out of the question,” I said.
“Is this you speaking or the emperor?”
“Both!” I barked. “Do you honestly expect me to let you go into the field of war? For you to get hurt? You’re not a Titan. This isn’t your fight.”
“You are the emperor. You shouldn’t be going out to fight either.”
Her eyes met mine. They were fiery and strong.
“I’m their leader,” I said. “The emperor must be seen to fight alongside them.”
“You need to stay alive. That’s what you need to do. If you die—really die this time—it will demoralize them. Can’t you see what you mean to them?”
What you mean to me. That was what she was saying.
I reached for her hand but she pulled it away from me.
“Can’t you see what you mean to me?” I said softly. “I would rather be burnt to a crisp a thousand times before I saw one hair on your head get hurt.”
“I have a lot of hair,” she said. “You only have one life.”
I couldn’t help but smile. There was a question on my lips that I wanted to ask her, a question I hoped she would say yes to.
The Titans had their emperor back but they didn’t have an empress.
With her by my side, I was certain the Titans would be behind me even more than they were now. They would love her the same way I did.
A warrior empress.
But the battle tomorrow was happening tomorrow, and I didn’t know what was going to happen.
So, I decided not to ask the question now.
Afterward, maybe, if everything worked out.
“My death might destroy the Titans and their will to fight, this is true,” I said. “But your death—” And I cringed at just the suggestion of it. “—would be the death of me. If I lost the will to fight, so would they. I can’t allow you to go into battle with us tomorrow. I admire your fight and your spirit, but I won’t allow it.”
She bolted to her feet and knocked the dishcloth to the floor.
“Then what do you expect me to do?” she said. “Sit here, cook and clean, and wait to see if you’re still alive or not?”
She folded her arms and turned her head away from me. Even when she was angry, she was beautiful.
“No,” I said. “You can join the medical team in the hospital. Once we begin the attack, the injured will start coming in. You can work with the other doctors and nurses.”
