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I push the accelerator harder, willing the car to go faster. It does exactly as I want it to, swerving around corners and drifting on the dirt.
It’s idiotic, reckless, but my heart feels empty.
Dead.
A single hand drops to my stomach, almost on instinct as I slow down. I have another being to think about, care for. Even if the person involved in it decided that we aren’t enough.
I’mnot enough.
Pulling over on the side of the two lane dirt road, I contemplate my next move. I don’t even know where to go from here. I search for my phone and pat myself down, only to realize I don’t have it on me. It must have dropped it during my walk or something.
“What the fuck are you doing, Birdie?” I mutter, leaning my head against the steering wheel. I’m better than this. Men don’t dictate how I live my life. If he wants to go be with someone, baby bean and I will make it work. I know it.
My stomach is flat, which it will be for a while, but I think about the few months from now when I’ll start getting a little round belly that’s growing him or her. I wonder if they’ll have light brown eyes like me or if they’ll have light brown hair. I imagine what their first words might be, how many months they’ll be when they walk.
I don’t know, but I can say that I’m more than happy to know that this little bird and I will be just fine.
Taking several deep breaths, I decide to go back to the vineyard. I’m not really sure where I am, but I can cruise for a while and hope for the best. It will hopefully give me more time to collect myself.
Checking the mirrors, the coast is clear as I go to turn the car around. Putting it in reverse, I scoot back as far as possible before checking again and pulling into the road.
What I don’t see is the flash of black flying toward me until the last second, coming out of thin air. Screaming in terror, I fumble to get the car in reverse, but I don’t have time to react. The other vehicle slams into my door at high speeds, the crunch of metal on metal shrieking into my ears. The airbags don’t deploy, and the seatbelt tears into my throat and waist.
White noise fills my head as my neck whips to the side, pain shooting through my head. Time stops, and I suspend in air for a moment and jerk when the car slams onto the ground before floating again. My body feels weightless, painless as I suspend. The car drops to the ground again, and my nose slams into the steering wheel. A moment of pain raptures through my skull, and it’s as if my life ceases to exist.
The End…
