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It fucking sucks.
It’s even worse because everywhere I look, I see Valentine’s Day decorations, and it only reminds me that all of the plans I had made for Mira and me this year won’t be happening.
I’ll be spending the holiday alone.
Again.
I’ve been trying to give Mira the space she asked for, but I swear to God, it’s killing me. The first few days, I tried to pretend like everything was normal. I went into town and had breakfast at the diner with Xavier and my friends. Then Mira came in, and it felt like I got kicked in the stomach.
I drove to the market and saw her walking to work and almost crashed my car. The ache in my chest took hours to fade after that so I just stopped leaving my house. It seemed safer that way.
It hasn’t been easier though. I can still smell Mira on my sheets, and I haven’t had the heart to wash them yet.
Today is Valentine’s Day, and I don’t know what to do with myself. The flowers and chocolates I got for Mira are sitting on my kitchen counter. The reservations that I made at the steakhouse in Rosewood have been canceled.
I can’t even go out with Xavier to distract myself because he’s spending tonight with Olive.
I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I can feel myself splintering with each passing day. It’s a slow death, and I hate it.
I’m a fighter. It’s what got me out of my parents’ house and away from them. It’s why I joined the Army and then became a Ranger. It might not be what Mira wants right now, but I can’t just sit around waiting for her. I’m going to fight for her. At least one more time.
I grab my keys, flowers, and chocolates and march out the door. I know that she had tonight off of work, so I head towards her apartment. The lights are on when I park, and I take a deep breath, jog over to the door, and hit the buzzer for her place.
She buzzes me in right away, and I take the stairs two at a time up to her door.
“It was like fifteen dollars, right?” She asks, counting the cash in her hand.
“What?” I ask her, and her head snaps up.
Her eyes meet mine and I take her in. She looks sad and I wonder if maybe she’s been missing me.
“Townes… I wasn’t; I thought that you were the pizza delivery.”
“Oh.”
We stare at each other for a moment, and I thrust the flowers and chocolates at her.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” I tell her, and she blinks, taking the gifts slowly.
“Oh,” she says as her phone starts to buzz on the counter behind her. “Sorry, I should get that.”
She turns and grabs her phone, answering it without looking at the screen.
“Hello?” She says, and I can tell that something is wrong from the way that she tenses.
Her back is ramrod straight, and her fingers clench around the bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates.
“I know, Mom. I got your message. I’ve just been busy. I was going to call you back though and –”
It’s her mom?
I thought that they didn’t talk. What could she possibly want now? Is that why Mira pushed me away? Did something happen?
I take a step towards her, and she turns, staring blankly at the wall next to me. Tears are starting to form in her eyes, and I can’t stand the sight of them.
“Mom, I can’t,” she chokes out as the first tears fall onto her face.
That’s my breaking point, and I step towards her, grabbing the phone and bringing it to my ear.
