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“Come on, man,” Jordan says as we hit the changerooms after our shift. “I know things are confusing at the moment, but Ivy’s only going to turn twenty-one once. Do you really want to miss it?”
“Things aren’t confusing, J. They’re fucked up.” I reef my red and yellow t-shirt off and shove it in my bag.Jordan sits on the bench watching as I slather sunscreen over my shoulders and the back of my neck.
“Yeah, alright. I’ll give you that,” he finally concedes. “But this is Ivy. She’s family.”
Family. A novel concept. Something that doesn’t mean too much to me right now. Apparently, all family is good for is lying to you.
“I just think you’ll regret it if you don’t come. Think about it.” Jordan stands and claps me on the back before leaving.
I change into my boardshorts and head back out for a swim. Cutting through the crisp water, swimming parallel to the beach, I relish the burn in my arms as I push through the waves. I head for the Point, knowing I have at least a couple of hours before the change in tide.
When I reach the rocky outcrop, I pull myself up the ragged cliff face to Jump Rock. I bask in the afternoon sun, remembering all the summers I spent here as a kid with Lachy and Ivy.
It’s a Blue Haven rite of passage–when you turn fifteen, you’re finally old enough for Jump Rock initiation. Lachy was the first of us to turn fifteen, celebrating his birthday at the beginning of January. Ivy was next in April, and I rounded out our squad at the end of August. Ivy and Lachy had both waited for me so we could be initiated together. The only problem with being a winter baby is that the water is freezing.
Jump Rock can’t be accessed from land; you have to swim there, and I still remember the stiffness in my body as I stood on the ledge shaking–even with my wetsuit on–and the way my jaw hurt from my teeth chattering. It was a windy day, and the icy chill had cut through us like a knife.
Lachy and I had been cocky little upstarts in the week leading up to my birthday. We’d bragged to anyone who would listen about the backflips and tricks we were planning on doing off the rock. But after all the excitement around the build-up of it, the reality was such a letdown. We’d been too cold to do anything more than hold hands, Ivy in the middle, and jump–immediately swimming back to shore for a hot shower. We didn’t head back out to Jump Rock for another four months, when the weather started to warm up again.
Standing up, I look out over the edge. The waves crash below me. Turning my back to the ocean, I shake out my shoulders before launching myself into a backflip off the edge. The shock of the cold water on my sun-warmed skin takes the breath out of me, but as I breach the surface, I shake it off and start swimming back to shore.
Knowing that Ivy isn’t working today, I cross the street to the Scoop to grab myself a salted caramel milkshake. I pay the kid working behind the counter and turn around, only to come face-to-face with Ellie.
“Hey, Harley,” she says, offering me a small smile.
“Hey,” I manage to choke out. I look over her shoulder to see who she’s with, but there’s no one.
“Are you in a hurry?” she asks when I return my gaze to hers. “Can we talk?”
Unable to speak, I nod, leading the way over to a booth near the window. She slips in across from me, and I’m hit with a pang of regret that she can’t sit next to me, snuggling in with her head on my shoulder as we share a cone. I watch as she tucks her hair behind her ears, and my eyes drink her in–her smooth, olive complexion, those big brown doe eyes. She still makes my heart race with her innocent beauty. I miss her so fucking much, it hurts.
“How are you?”
My gut twists. I haven’t just been avoiding my friends lately. I’ve been avoiding her, too. I’ve been holing up in the arts department at uni and going home for lunch rather than risk running into her in the cafeteria. “I’m alright,” I say with a shrug. “Just keeping busy with school. What about you? Are you all packed?”
Ellie worries her bottom lip as she nods. My tongue darts out to wet my own, remembering what it’s like to kiss her. “I’m kind of nervous,” she admits. “It’s a big change.”
“You can always come home if you don’t like it.”
“I know.”
An awkward silence settles over us, and I hate that what we had has been reduced to this. All because my dad couldn’t keep his dick in his pants twenty-three years ago.
We both start talking at the same time.
“What time do you–”
“Ivy said you’re not–”
Forcing a laugh, I gesture at her to go first.
“Ivy said you’re not coming tonight?”
I lean back in my chair and rub a hand over my face. “I don’t want to ruin her night with my bullshit.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing by not going?” My eyes go wide at her calling me out like that. “You and Lachy were her best friends growing up. He’s not here, and you’re all she’s got. I think you’re being selfish by not going.”
“She has Conrad now.”
