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“Harley?” she says, and I feel her hand squeezing my arm.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out, stumbling backward. “I can’t do this right now.”
Without looking at her, I turn and hurry back in the direction of the parking lot, fumbling in my pocket for the keys to my bike. I’m a fucking asshole, just leaving her like that. But seeing her face-to-face was harder than I thought it would be.
By the time I get to my bike, I’m seconds away from a complete breakdown. I suck in deep, ragged breaths trying to calm my racing heart. What the fuck am I doing? She deserves better than that. I drag my hand through my hair. I can’t keep stringing this out.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and click on her name, praying she’ll answer while knowing she doesn’t owe me anything.
“Hello?” The pain in her voice cuts through me like a knife.
“I’m so sorry,” I rush out. “I shouldn’t have run off onyou like that. Will you come for a ride with me?”
There’s a heavy silence as I wait for her response. “Okay.”
ELLIE CLINGS TO my waist, her body pressed firmly against mine as we ride along the coastline up to Glassons Point. When we climb off my bike, instead of taking the stairs to the lookout, I lead her over to the broken wooden fence that takes us out onto the rocky cliff face. I help her climb over, and we walk in silence to the sheltered set of rocks that Lachy, Ivy, Wren, and I used to hang out at when we were younger. There’s less chance of being interrupted here.
I wait for Ellie to sit down first and take a seat next to her, careful to keep my distance. She tucks her hair behind her ears, then leans her elbows on her knees and rests her chin in her hands.
“I’m sor–”
“Can you stop apologising,” she says sharply.
“Sorry,” I say, holding my hands up and giving her a sheepish grin. “Last one, I promise.”
She rolls her eyes but can’t stop the small smile tugging on her lips. It doesn’t do anything to hide the wariness in her eyes, though.
My hand twitches, and the pull to hold her in my arms is so strong, but I can’t do it. I can’t hurther even more. “This is shit,” I say instead, dropping my head into my hands. “You know I love you, right?”
“Yeah,” Ellie whispers. I can barely hear her over the sound of the waves crashing against the cliff face below us. “It’s over, isn’t it?”
A sharp pain lances through my chest. She’s giving me an easy out. “I… yeah. It is.”
She sniffs, and I risk a glance at her. She’s staring out over the ocean, a single tear tracking down her cheek. She doesn’t even attempt to brush it away. “Thanks for being honest with me.”
“I wish it wasn’t like this.”
She nods.
We sit there in silence, both lost in our own thoughts. My anger at my dad and her mum is growing. They’ve ruined so many lives with their selfishness.
“I got a job offer at the school I volunteered at in the Northern Territory,” she says quietly.
“What?” My pain intensifies. I knew we couldn’t be together, but I never contemplated what that would mean. I never imagined it would cause her to leave Blue Haven.
“I found out the day before I came home. It’s an education support role, supporting the classroom teacher. It would count towards my placement, and I can complete most of my classes via correspondence.”
“Is that what you want?” I manage to choke out, wondering why she didn’t tell me this before. Was she going to give it up for me?
She shrugs. “I loved it there. It’s a good opportunity.”
“What would your parents say?”
“It’s not up to them.”
“Fair enough. Have you told Conrad?”
She shakes her head. “He’ll understand.”
