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"Why do you want to talk to me, considering the fact that…you know?" He asked. Lee thought about it and was able to arrive at only one sensible answer that also seemed to be halfway true.
"I was bored, and I can't sleep as well," she said.
"Misery loves company huh?" He asked.
"I'm not miserable," she said. He looked at her and she imagined that he would derail the conversation by continuing down that line, but he looked away and puffed up his cheeks.
"He's out there somewhere," he said.
"You're pretty intense about this whole thing," she said, and he chuckled.
"Yes, I am. I don't even know why. I mean, it is true that the horse was important but…I don't know why I feel this much about it. It was also why I didn't chase after him yesterday. I mean, if I'd caught up to him, and there was a fair chance of that happening, I don't know what would have happened. I don't know how I would have reacted and…I don't think I want us to get to that place where we're pointing guns at each other with the intention of actually shooting them," he said with a small smile that seemed sad.
"I see," Lee said. There was quiet again and knowing him, she was sure that he would not do anything to break the Silence. He was too comfortable in it.
"What's the name of your horse?" She asked.
"Spear," he said. She frowned.
"I don't even know if that's a good or awful name," she said.
"Look, I just complimented the name of your horse when I heard it and I think my horse deserves the same courtesy," he said, and she shrugged.
"If you want to think that then think it. Why did you give him that name though?" She asked.
"I wonder why someone would name their horse spear," he said.
"You're an ass," she said, and he nodded.
"Here we go," he said, and she turned and left him, feeling mildly annoyed but mostly amused. She turned to look at him stillstanding there in silence and she wished that she knew what was on his mind. Something made her feel that he was going through a lot more than he let on.
†
As soon as it was bright enough to see, they were off again and this time, they were able to come upon ashes from a fire and it seemed like they had started moving before he did, which made him not scatter the ashes.
Ike set a merciless pace for them, and Lee was starting to feel like her lower back would give out but a part of her didn't mind it much. She was seeing more of the countryside than she imagined she would get to see in a lifetime. They gave a hard chase until noon when they evened out and ate whilst still in the saddle.
"To be honest, I didn't think you'd take this pace this long. I'm impressed," Hayden said, riding up to her. He had a small smile on his face, and she saw that there was brightness in his eyes like he enjoyed the ride. She didn't want to admit that she too had and at the same time, her body ached so terribly that she wanted to dump it and run.
"Thanks," she said, and he dipped his head.
"Why did you stop?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" She asked and he turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow. She nodded and swallowed thickly, understanding what he meant. She looked for a way to phrase it but there was no way she could say it that would make it sound less foolish than it was. She wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but she decided to just talk about it. To keep it like asecret close to the heart was also a foolish and pathetic thing to do.
"I just…I guess I fell for someone who didn't like riding much and…well, I left for a while and now I'm back," she said. He nodded.
"What happened?" He asked. His tone was gentle and curious, and she was grateful that he didn't try to maintain eye contact.
"I guess…we just weren't meant to be together? I don't know. It's a lot to talk about," she said.
"I understand," he said.
"You do?" She asked.
"There was a time that I wanted to leave and go away with this girl. My mother advised against it, but I was…adamant. It didn't turn out as well as I hoped and…I just understand how it feels. Austin actually got me through the depression I felt when that one happened," he said, and his face tightened immediately like he didn't mean to add the last part.
Lee thought it was probably a good idea not to mention the last part, but she was much too curious to let it be.
