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"Yeah," she said, and they sat down. She immediately went for the snacks and as they ate, she punched his shoulder again and nodded towards the guitar.
"Give us music, please," she said, and he laughed and started playing. This time, there was something different about the way he played. There was something subtle and kind, affectionate even his voice was stronger but not in a way that made her sad. She listened with her eyes shut, nodding, and gesturing with her hands until she opened her eyes to see that he was staring at her. There was so much softness in his eyes, so much packed into one expression and she found that she could not turn away from him until he finally looked away and back at his guitar. She listened to him as he finished playing with a half-smile on her face.
"I have never heard this one before. Did you write it?" She asked him and he nodded. Her eyes widened in impressed surprise.
"Wow! That really…that's really good. I mean it. It's really good. You're sitting on a gold mine here," she said. Hayden laughed and shrugged.
"I have been told that I am a decent songwriter," he said.
"Wow. You plan to do anything with it or…" he shook his head.
"I don't sing that way and besides, I have gone down that road before back in college. Started a band and all that stuff but I don't think that's a road I want to linger on," he said, and she nodded.
"Yeah?" She asked.
"Yeah. May I see some of your drawings?" He asked her. Lenanee swayed from side to side, considering it then she looked at him and shook her head.
"Not today but there's a good chance that you might tomorrow," she said.
"Ah, so I get to see you tomorrow," he said, and she nodded.
"Yes, you do," she said, and he whistled in a way that made her catch a glimpse of how carefree he must have been as a boy. It was a beautiful thing.
"I'm glad about that, Lee," he said, and the look entered his eyes again. This time, Lee didn't want to look away from it.
†
Lee walked into the old barn that served as her art studio. It had been a long while since she came in here since she drew anything. She hadn't realized how much of herself she had given away, how much she had lost to become what someone else wanted her to be and as she stared at the pencils, the charcoal, and the pieces of heavy paper, she suddenly felt the urge to cry.
She took down one of the big boxes that held her smaller, more detailed drawings then she turned on the table light and started going through them. Each of them had a story and as she looked through them, every story became vivid to her. She kept staring at it and a smile was on her face. She remembered the hours she would spend within the barn making drawings and the books she studied on how to make them better. Sometimes she even saw some errors that she agonized over. She sat there and inhaled deeply, remembering the time she had shown themto Kenneth and the way he had stared at them like they had no meaning, like they were trash. He told her that drawing was a childish hobby, not something a grown woman should be doing.
She looked up from the drawing she made of him, and she shook her head. There was a time when seeing this would make her tear up, but this…this didn't affect her anymore. It had no sway over her, and she found that she was slightly amused by it. She slowly tossed it aside on the ground and waited for the feeling of guilt, but it didn't come. It was true that she had been lost and even thought to be an accomplice in a crime, but the thing was that she felt like she had actually lived, like she had actually been herself again and she was not giving that away, not soon. Not ever.
CHAPTER SEVEN
It was late evening the next day when Hayden came to the barn. Lee was sitting in front of it with a pencil in her hand. She rolled it from her thumb to her knuckles then right across and back to her palm. It was something she did when she was bored as a kid and the habit was slowly returning.
Lenanee couldn't help but admire the man as he walked to her. His height made him an impressive sight with the breadth of shoulders that only hard work could give. His eyes were squinted as he walked to her and she guessed that it must be reflex from all the times he had to ride facing the sun. He tipped his hat when he came to her.
"Hello," she said to him, and his face lit up in smiles.
"I brought something for you," he said.
"What is it?" she asked, brimming with anticipation.
"Well, that depends on what you show me inside there," he said, and she looked at the barn then back at him and gave a half smile.
"Aha, alright then," she said and opened the door and he gasped. The previous day, she had rearranged the place and hung up her drawings in ways that made them catch the eye. She watched hisexpression and while his face was frozen, his eyes were dancing around the entire thing, taking it all in and that was when he smiled.
"This is…this is beautiful," he said to her.
"You think?" She asked him and he nodded.
"I know. I mean, you're here complimenting my singing and you're creating wonders down here," he said, walking to one. He raised a finger then stopped and looked at her.
"Can I touch it?" He asked and she smiled.
"Yeah, I already sprayed them down years ago," she said, and he smiled and ran a finger across it.
