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Until he passes through the gray veil.
I choke on a panicked gasp as he sweeps through the tingling mist and into the mortal world, setting me down within the cathedral ruins. They are still ruins. I part my lips, but I can’t begin to ponder why they haven’t been demolished yet. Perhaps winter came too early, and the project was delayed.
The air is thicker, making it harder to breathe. Or it’s my heartbeat thundering in my ears with my lungs squeezing.
Why are we here?
Eros towers over me. If I believed he was imposing in Purgatory, his gargoyle form practically smothers me with his divinity and power. My internal organs are ready to liquefy in his presence, and I imagine the only thing keeping my heart from giving out is Psyche’s soul inside mine.
“What are you doing, Eros?” I say, my voice far grittier than I intended.
“I will return for you,” he tells me, sifting his hand through my hair. “Both of you.”
What?
“What are you talking about?” I burn my eyes against his. “You heard what Hades said. The more you delay, the worse Purgatory will be. Eros…” I touch his stony shoulder, wincing, overwhelmed by the icy obsidian. “We lost Crescendo. How many more must be lost? Please don’t do this. You claimed I was always trying to escape, running away. Don’t run from me now, Eros. Don’t leave me like this.”
His stony brows furrow low. A muscle bounces in his jaw. When he sweeps in, his kiss crashes against me like a dark wave. Eroding me. I’m too broken to care.
“I will come back for you.” He turns around. For me? No, forher.
Balling my hands into fists, I find my courage, my fury at him delaying the inevitable. “Don’t you dare, Eros! You know what this means to me.” The muscles in his wings flex, and his spine tightens as I confront him. “You know whattheymean to me. It’s more than just you and me and our desires, our wants. It’s more than our love. All my life has led me to this point. Don’t you dare rob me of my purpose. Or my will.”
I step forward, trying a different tactic and sliding my arms around him from behind. I barely make the halfway mark, but his wings tense as I crumble against him. The veins in his neck throb. His horns harden.
“My time with you in Purgatory and everyone brought me more meaning and love and purpose than I ever could have imagined. The ghosts brought me there. Maybe they all knew how much I needed them as they needed me.”
“I need you,” he growls low.
“You need her. She’s your wife. You’ve been searching for her for a century, Eros. You found her in me. I heard you say it. Drawn to her soul inside me. It’s that simple. So, don’t wait. Please let me die with some dignity.”
“You’re not going to die. Neither of you,” he says firmly, gripping my arms to unchain me, then steps toward the mist again.
Fury burns sharp and hot within me, and I’m closing the distance to him, pounding my fists against his back. “You think that you can write me off and turn your back on me simply because I am human and little and weak as if any of that means I don’t matter?”
He turns, overpowering me until I’m trapped against a cathedral wall with nowhere to go. Still, I don’t stop. I don’t stop struggling, thrashing, or lashing out at him with hot tears streaming down my cheeks. “You may be a god and I may be mortal. I know I’m weak. I can’t fight you. This is all I can do to fight, to show you how much I love you. You can run away and search for something because love always tries to find a way. But Eros, sometimes there is no other way.
“We both know what you will ultimately choose,” I urge him as his nostrils flare. “How many will suffer and die in the meantime? Because of me? Do not let me die with that on my conscience. That’s not love to me. Let my soul go with some peace. I deserve that. Because my shattered soul is every bit as powerful and eternal as yours. And you don’t get to do this to me, Eros. Not to my heart. Not to the eternity of my spirit.”
At first, he just stares at me, fuming a fevered fury all around me. More powerful than ever. More alluring, even in his gargoyle form.
Part of him seems like he’ll snap at any moment, lift up the ends of this violet gown, and rut me against this very wall.
Part of him simmers with violence—as if he’s ready to surrender to my will.
I don’t want him to drag this out. Burning my eyes against his, I lower my hand to his larger one, tipped with those massive claws—remembering the claw that was inside of me bringing me to a maddening climax as he’d imprisoned me with my back to his muscled fortress.
I put that claw to my chest and inhale more than courage. It’s peace, resolution, and ironclad willpower. “If I’m going to die, and we both know I will, let it be on my terms. Let it be for love, Eros. The love that can stand the test of time…with her…because I won’t.”
Eros doesn’t even blink. He stares, drawing me into his pure chaotic abyss.
Somehow, I strengthen my voice and press the claw harder so it breaks the skin. Red blood. Mortal blood. “I am a human, Eros. What will happen when I grow old and decrepit while you remain the immortal God of Love? I don’t want that fate. Don’t make me suffer in this…purgatory. If you truly love me, you’ll end it now. Let my life have meaning, thegreatestmeaning.”
A low growl rumbles in his chest, and Eros moves his other hand to my throat, gripping, enough to thin my air but not cut it off. “So eager to be a martyr, Butterfly?”
I offer a soft smile and cradle the side of his face, his beautiful obsidian gargoyle face. I consider how obsidian is a stone of clarity, of protecting energies. Nothing could be clearer.
“If it’s martyrdom, then take it for what it is,” I say with full conviction. “A new beginning. Breaking in, breaking free. You loved the butterfly in the chrysalis. Now, it’s time to set her free. It’s not the death but thereasonfor the death. I have already lived a full life, a thousand full lives with you. And when I die for this, for love, I won’t be remembered for my life. You’ll remember me for my sacrifice, my belief, and my heart. BecauseI love you, Eros. How could any death be more fulfilling than that?”
