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CHAPTER1
LAURA
Anxiety spikes within my veins, pulsing faster and faster, as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. If I was staring at someone else who looked exactly like I do right now, I’d assume she’s calm, cool, and collected but I’m losing my mind.
This is it. My boyfriend, Dell, is going to propose to me tonight. There’s no other possibility for why he would fly me to a city known for romance on a weekend getaway. It’s only three weeks until his college graduation— until Dell starts med school. It’s the perfect time.
Yet, I am riddled with anxiety, hiding away in the restroom of the most beautiful restaurant I’ve ever been in, full of loving couples and romantic candlelight.
I want a family with Dell, a home full of our children. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved and I gave him my virginity. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Maybe this is just some jitters? I can’t believe this is happening after seven years. I’m going to be Mrs. Laura Clemons.
My mom is going to be so excited. My sister, not so much. We’ve never been close. I was much closer to our little brother, Ivan, but that was before he passed away. Our lives really went to hell when we lost him. Everyone who meant so much to us after Ivan’s accident that left him paralyzed stopped coming around. We’re just the sad Murdoch family, missing a father and a son, both buried side by side in the San Jose Memorial Cemetery.
The memory of Ivan is still fresh, even after a few years, while my father’s voice is more distant with each year that passes. If it weren’t for pictures, I wouldn’t remember his face. It would be a blur of a general description. Green eyes, brown hair, tan skin, and a tall stature. It’s a description that could fit millions of people, but none of them were as incredible as my father.
I shake away the negative thoughts and pull out my tube of pink iridescent lipstick, touching it up, before tossing it back in my clutch.
Time to become the future Mrs. Delvin Clemons.
* * *
I sitacross from Dell as the elegant, brunette waitress pours the wine before sending me a polite smile.
“Divetiti, signora,” she whispers before disappearing. I have no clue what she just said, but I have a feeling it was in kindness.
I really wish I took French in high school instead of Spanish, but Spanish is much more helpful in San Jose. A good amount of the population is of Hispanic heritage and some of those people struggle with English. If they feel even half as awful as I do for not knowing French, the least I can do is meet the individuals I encounter halfway.
“How is your filet mignon?” Dell asks as he sets down his glass of wine, his eyes following my every move.
I almost ask him to repeat himself, but then his eyes flash to my protein. “Everything is delicious.”
I couldn’t understand half of what was on the menu—hence my lack of knowledge of the French language—so I asked for whatever the healthiest dish was on the menu. I’ve been eating so much pasta the past few days that I’m sure I gained a bit of weight.
I’m a California girl. I don’t care what the steak, pork, or chicken is called. As long as it tastes good, I’m a happy camper. I’ve never hadfilet mignonbefore though.
Dell seems irritated by my answer, but tries to hide it. “That’s great. The waitress assured me it was the best in all of Paris.”
“She did?” I turn my head to see her making the rounds through all her tables.
“I can’t believe you never learned French or even just picked up a few phrases when I told you we were coming here,” he mutters as he runs his finger along the rim of his wine glass.
“Like you, I’ve been busy with classes and my job. My boss barely let me get enough time off to come here. It’s been amazing, Dell. Thank you.” All of the friends I have—granted they were his friends before they were mine—would think I was stupid for not standing up for myself. They’ve said so hundreds of times when he’s nitpicked at things that he doesn’t like that I do or don’t do.
I don’t like it either, but this is who Dell is. I can’t change him, like he can’t change me.
I just put up with it.
“I just wanted to do something nice for you before graduation to show you my gratitude for all your support.” He takes my hand in his and I flush, knowing it’s coming. “I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am if it wasn’t for you. All of the nights studying and planning are about to come to fruition. I’m going to be heading off to medical school and I made a decision I hope you’ll be on board with.”
Yes, yes, yes! “What is it?” I ask, pretending to be clueless.
“We should break up.”
It’s in this moment that the outlook I have on the world cracks into a million pieces and I know my life will never be the same again.
“What did you just say?” I ask as I grab my glass of wine, drinking it as quickly as my throat will allow.
His gaze turns suspicious as I yank my hand out of his. “Are you alright?”
