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I use the key Xander gave me before I left this morning and hurry into the apartment. I half expect to find Browning sitting there and my sister strapped to a chair with blood dripping from her temple, but she’s lounging on the couch, smoking a joint with a deeply satisfied look on her face. I guess she fooled him just as thoroughly as I got one over on Dell.
“It went well?” I ask as I walk over to her.
“Don’t get it all twisted. That man is a piece of shit rolled in psychopathy, but he knows what he’s doing with his dick and his tongue.”
Bile rises up my throat at the mental images she places in my mind. “Gillian!” I gape at her as the door opens behind me, Xander popping up, tossing his arms around my waist in the most romantic hug I’ve ever received in my life. Too bad he did it when I want to vomit all over my sister.
“Come on, little sister. Don’t be such a prude. It’s not like he actually got the chance to assault you.”
My body stiffens as my blood runs cold and I notice the concern across Gillian’s face, the tension growing in Xander’s arms.
“Darling?”
Flashes of tortured memories race through my mind, the times Dennis got his hands on me, hurt me. First, I experience him tossing me to the ground in my old apartment, beating on me, like I was his personal punching bag. My ribs sting from the memory.
Second, I’m tortured by the sensation of his gun pressed to my head, his angry eyes glaring at me, ready to kill me. The humiliation of him forcing me to undress for him floods my body like it’s happening right now. He was ready and willing to kill me, all because Xander and I didn’t have sex yet. The brutal pain of him forcing something in my ass washes over me like a tsunami, erasing everything else in its path.
Lastly, I experience the horror of Dennis fucking Davenport cornering me in the kitchen and confusing me with his words, telling me how he wants me to survive and how strong he thought I was. If I didn’t know better and didn’t have the past experiences with him that I have, I might’ve thought he had a crush on me or something. The moment seemed too intimate, especially looking back on it. What the hell was his game plan? Why was he being so…strange?
The memory slows down on his assault, him pushing his fingers inside me. I figured he’d try to rape me right there, but he didn’t. He just got me off then left me alone. Still, even though I’m the only one that got any type of physical pleasure from it–pleasure I didn’t want to experience in the first place–it feels like he might as well have raped me.
I’m Xander’s girl. Before him, I was Delvin Clemons’ girlfriend. No one else’s. I want it to stay that way and the prospect of anyone trying to force me to be theirs, even if only for a few minutes, terrifies me.
I’m scared to experience anything worse or even on the same level as what Dennis did to me.
“Laura!” Suddenly, a hard slap impacts with my face and I squeal with surprise as I cradle my injured cheek, glaring at my sister.
“What the hell? Gilly, you’re such a bitch!” The words are a defensive reflex, stinging even more as they come out. I know whatever reason my sister has for doing that is valid. She would never do that unless she had no other choice.
“Sorry, but you looked like a standing corpse! You wouldn’t respond. I’m pretty sure you gave Xander a heart attack!”
Well, shit. I know she means business when she goes from calling him “grumpy cat” to “Xander”. I couldn’t get her to stop calling him grumpy cat earlier and now I wish it went back to it. That would mean she wasn’t so worried about me.
“Where the hell did you just go?” My sister is like a bomb detonating in front of me. I’ve never seen her take anything so serious before.
Xander growls, cursing at her, before moving into my line of sight, gently caressing my face, worry in his hazel-brown eyes. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice so relaxing.
I nearly fall into his arms and bury my face in his chest, taking a deep whiff of his disarming scent. Just being in his arms is enough to anchor me to the present, fully pulling me out of the petrifying flashbacks.
His fingers run through my hair as he holds me close, his grip tensing around my waist.
“It’s okay. Just breathe.”
Xander walks me over to the couch and pulls me into his lap. If I wasn’t already exhausted from being awake all night, I would be just from that. Maybe my mind is just so weak from the lack of sleep that it allowed the memories to slip past my defenses. That has to be it.
Gillian sits down beside us and the look of devastation in her eyes breaks my heart. “There’s something you’re not telling me, sis.” The faint presentation of tears appears in her eyes as she stares at me, waiting for an answer.
I can’t give it to her. I love my sister, but I know she is fiercely protective. It was bad enough having to tell her that Dennis planned to rape me. If she knew everything else, she’d kill him or die trying. Xander would have a good shot at killing his deranged father, but Gillian wouldn’t stand a chance against him.
Her expression becomes even more heartbroken as she takes a deep breath. “Do you remember those parties we used to go to? The ones at your ex’s house. He’d throw them when his parents were out of town and pretty much everyone in the school would go.”
I can’t bring myself to use my voice just yet so I nod my response.
Her frown deepens. “The first party he threw, you had the flu and couldn’t go. You told me to go and have fun even if you wouldn’t be there with me.” She stops, looking more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen her, and that look in her eyes scares more than Dennis ever could. “I went to the party and I got really wasted. Sophia Wells was there and she convinced a bunch of girls to strip down to their underwear to go swimming and chill in the hot tub. It was near the end of the party and a lot of people were leaving. Sophia was leaving and Dell and his two buddies, Ronny and Bert, got in the hot tub with me. At first, I think Dell thought I was you, but even when I told him I wasn’t, he wouldn’t stop touching me.” Her eyes slam shut, pain clear on her face.
No. No, no, no. Please, don’t let it be.
“He…raped you?” I rasp out, my emotions spiraling.
