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“I don’t know what to do,” I finally said, interrupting the high priestess’s tale of how she found the kitten.
She patted my hand. “You don’t have to do anything. You’re young, rushing about is natural, but sometimes slowing down helps. I’ve already told them you’ll be staying with the initiates. You’re unbound, Great-granddaughter, for death severs all ties. There’s power in that. Power in you. Don’t wait for someone to choose you, choose yourself, and, when you’re ready, your future.”
“Thank you,” I said and meant it. When was the last time anyone offered me something without wanting equal in return?
“We’re family, girl. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here. Just promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t leave without telling me.”
I nodded, sleep pulling at my eyelids.
A young priestess led me to a room barely larger than the cell I just escaped. That’s where the similarities ended. The black-stone room held four oil lamps and red pillows, hooks lined the wall and a small bookshelf fit under the window. A wash basin and cloth sat together with a full water pitcher on top. Two folded white robes lay on the otherwise-empty shelf.
The initiate showed me how to hook the pillows together and cover them with a blanket, making a bed. In the pressing summer heat, I needed nothing more for the night.
With a final smile and slight bow, she left me, closing the heavy curtain that served as a door.
Despite having nothing left inside me, I dressed in the soft robe, shedding the last part of my old life.
I fell asleep watching the stars stare down at me.
In the morning, a package with five books had been slid under my curtain. A note from Morovara said when I was ready to learn of our history, it was there for me. Perhaps the choices of Eydis—daughter of Ealhswip and my ancestor—would help me make my own.
Reverently, I opened the first journal and started reading.
Chapter twenty-two
Dimitri
Tal was in worse shape than I had ever imagined. There were barely any mages left. Healers, once considered rare, were the most numerous at one hundred and twenty-seven, perhaps because they lived separately inside the hospital.
Despite my suspicions, the discovery that more than half of the bloodlines had been ended in the last fifty years by the so-called plague confirmed Lord Bersig’s assessment that it was man-made. I’d ordered Kazimir Bersigov be given everything he asked for as he reconstructed Bersig’s laboratory in the hospital.
As if blessed by the Death Goddess and Wishmaker both, Koshka had made it out of the tunnels through the door we entered through. With only her boots remaining out of her precious bone armor and one perfectly preserved flower, she’d ran straight into the Roja watching the entrance. When I visited her at the hospital, she’d sworn to get away from Tal and death in the same breath as promising vengeance on the priestesses who had killed Yahontov before her eyes. She’d volunteered to take his place as my bodyguard. How could I deny her, even though her presence reminded me how the Death Goddess stalked my steps?
At least with the poisonous flower she brought, Kazimir thought he might be able to develop a cure.
Following Koshka’s instructions, I’d sent bone soldiers to the tunnels for more flowers, but they found stockpiled food instead, as if they had wanted us to find it. I had ordered it left untouched for now. My forefathers’ expectations pressed me ever down and the city would soon be starving. A decision needed to be made.
Everyone clambered for my time. I wished to hide away, maybe even disappear to the mountains I had so despised. When I ran into Helia, the nobles expected me to treat her like my bride. Instead, I turned the other way, unable to see her face without thinking about another woman—wondering what she was doing, how far she could have traveled by now. If she had cursed me. Did it matter if she was finally free?
The days after the coronation were a rush of meetings with the Council and bells locked away with von Uster, my restraint crumbling more each time. The Goddess had already stolen my chance to break my father as he broke me. Finally, I had convinced the spymaster we could afford to move against the Council. My revenge might not be as sweet as I’d anticipated, but its time had come, for the last pieces of my past needed to be settled before I could focus on the future.
As the sun set, I entered the Goddess’s Garden at the Tower through a side entrance. A lot of things had changed but Eki could still be found caring for the Goddess’s greenhouse during twilight.
I had ignored her first two messages reminding me of my promise to talk to her after the coronation. I could not handle another fight, another woman who might have only pursued me due to my crown. But herlast message hinted at secrets I needed to know, and she threatened to leave Tal. Mariska insisted I go to hear Eki out.
In another life, Ekatarina would have joined the Temple. She had followed the old caretaker around since she was seven, amazed that something so small and beautiful like nightshade could kill. There had always been a darker side to her. Once, I found it tantalizing.
As predicted, candles shone inside the hexagonal greenhouse at the edge of the garden. With a bit of care, I slipped inside without being spotted. As king, I had the right to enter the Women’s Tower, but I had no energy to put on the hard, inaccessible facade that would let me pass without fuss. Only a few days in, I understood why my father had so often stayed in his chambers.
The darkness hid me as I paused. Eki moved purposefully inside, weeding and dirtying the apron, then replanting wiry purple plants from a nursery pot. I had loved her, hurt her, blamed and spurned her—what would her words do this time?
I knocked with my knuckle against a glass pane. It was a bad idea to startle someone surrounded by poisons.
She spun, eyes wide and lips parted as if I had scared her anyway. The past years had stolen her nerves of stone. No matter what had happened I never wanted that.
