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I shrugged. “About like last time. My boobs are pretty tender, and the nausea comes and goes throughout the day. Most of the time it’s all right, but every now and then, it hits me, and…”
I trailed off. No need to explainthat.
Kate glanced down, clearly looking for a bump that wasn’t there quite yet. “Does he know?”
I didn’t have to ask whom she was talking about.
I sighed. “Yes. I sent Xavier an email a few days ago. He…hasn’t responded yet. He must have read it, though. He checks his email like once an hour.”
Kate grimaced, like she knew exactly how hard it this was for me. Life was certainly repeating itself in the worst possible ways.
Once again, I’d fallen deeply in love with Xavier Parker over the course of a few weeks.
Once again, he’d broken my heart with his involvement with another woman.
Once again, I was left single and pregnant.
Fate certainly had a funny sense of humor. Stupid cow.
This time, however, the father knew. He just hadn’t said a word. And it was killing me just the same.
“Everyone’s going to flip when you tell them,” Kate remarked.
I looked at her. “No shit, Katie. Why do you think I wanted you to be quiet? I’m not really interested in the whole family whispering about how I’m going to hell while my brother is basking in marital bliss.”
She just blinked, like she was surprising herself just imagining it. “I don’t mean like that. We all know you’re a good person, babe, not to mention a kick ass mom. I just mean they are going to flip the fuck out at Xavier. Mattie’s probably going to fly to England just to kick that posh Brit’s ass. Joni will probably post all about him on social media, which you know will blow up. And since the press over there seems to think you two are a tasty treat, I’m sure you’ll have them at your door in no time, which means—”
“Which means you and everyone else need to keep your mouths shut,” I said sharply. “And not say a damn thing before the wedding is over. I’m not kidding, Katie. Shut it.”
She mimed zipping her mouth with a lock and throwing away the key. I didn’t say anything else. Kate was the one Zola kid I knew could keep a secret. With the rest, I might as well just send a press release to theNew York Post.
She looked down at my hand resting on my belly. “It take it you’re keeping it. Again, I mean.”
I gave her a look. “Are you really asking me that?”
“How can I not?” she replied. “Don’t get me wrong, Frankie. A woman’s right to choose and all that. Of course. But can we take a second to really think about this choice? Raising Sofia on your own has been hard enough. You’re a third grade teacher who’s been broke all her life and sleeps on a stairwell. I know Mattie gave you the house, but what are you going to do to support two kids alone? How are you going to take care of yourself?”
“It will be different this time,” “I put in. “For one, I’mnotdoing it completely alone.”
Kate just gave me a look. “Matthew’s gone. I know I’m not moving to Brooklyn, Marie’s in Paris, Lea’s got her own henhouse to attend to. So that leaves, what, Joni? You want ADHD Tinkerbell taking care of your littles?”
I just sighed. She was right. I knew she was right. With Xavier living in the UK, it wasn’t like we’d be able to trade custody nights or anything like that.
“I’ve thought about it,” I admitted. “A lot. But here’s the deal: I always wanted a family. A sister or brother for Sofia. Maybe not this way, but it seems to be what fate has in store. Better my kids have the same father than pulled between three different households, you know?”
I sighed, shoving a hand into my hair, which was already getting noticeably thicker. One of the lesser benefits of pregnancy, I supposed.
“Besides, this time Xavier knows,” I insisted. “We might not have worked out, but he’s not a deadbeat. Once he gets his head around this little surprise, he’ll support his kids. We won’t be destitute. Not even close.”
Kate looked at me for a long time. “What about your heart, Frankie? Is that going to be destitute too?”
I just shrugged. That part I didn’t like thinking about. “Maybe I’m not destined for some great love affair, Katie. Most people never get a happily ever after, and that’s okay, you know? I may not be someone’s perfect match, but I can be a great mom. I can have a family on my own terms, this time. Maybe that’s good enough.”
My sister just watched me for a long time. “Okay,” she said finally. “But when we get home, you have to spill the beans. You might be living on your own, but you still have your family to support you.”
“I know, Katie. Thank God for that.”
I pulled her into a quick embrace, but just as we released, the bathroom door opened, and Marie and Joni came bouncing in. It was quite a feat, considering Joni was on crutches after having a series of surgeries to fix a couple of ACL tears.
