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“You have to understand. Ever since she was a baby, Joni’s had everyone doing everything for her. She didn’t learn to walk until she was maybe fifteen months because we carried her everywhere. Never had to do homework on her own because we’d step in and help her. She didn’t even learn to tie her shoes until she was maybe twelve because someone would always give in and do it to get us out the door.” I shrugged. “If Nonna’s kicking her out, I think it’s for a good reason. She probably knows the same thing—Joni’s got to grow up. We shouldn’t stand in the way of that.”
Xavier didn’t argue, just smiled at me. “Look at my smart wife. God, you’re a good mum, Ces.”
I grinned. “Even to my baby sister?”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “To anyone who needs it. But especially our babies.”
Automatically, I set a hand atop my belly, imagining the little one within. Who they might be. What they might look like. Life was about to change drastically for our family, but instead of being afraid of those changes, I honestly couldn’t wait.
I wanted to see the look on Xavier’s face when he held the little creature for the first time. What songs he would sing when he rocked them to sleep. How he’d feel the first time they’d take their first steps or say “Dada” out loud.
If there was anything Xavier and I were supposed to be together, it was a family. Of that, I had no doubt. Adding to that family would only add joy.
“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Xavier said after delivering a kiss that left me breathless.
I chuckled. “You’re not really making sex jokes in the middle of our baby shower, are you?”
He snorted. “No. Although I wouldn’t mind dirtying up your childhood bedroom while the party goes on. No, it’s this. Arrived in the mail this morning. I snagged it on our way out.”
He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to me. Immediately, I spotted the return address in the top left corner: Columbia University.
All my breath left me as I took the letter, then looked up at Xavier as terror skittered up my arms and into my chest.
“Oh, fuck,” I murmured.
Xavier chuffed. “Better not let Sof hear you. I know you’re afraid if you’re using that word.”
“Open it.” I thrust the letter at him. “Please, Xavi. I’m too scared…”
He opened his mouth to say no, then tipped his head as he seemed to sense something on my face that shouldn’t be pressed too far. “All right.”
I shifted between the balls of my feet as he ripped open the envelope and read the letter silently to himself.
It took forever.
“Come on,” I demanded impatiently. “Xavi! What does it say?”
“Hold on, I’m reading all of it.” He seemed determined to torture me as he continued, forcing me to wait far longer than necessary.
“Xavi!”
Finally, Xavier looked up from the letter with a sly grin, blue eyes dancing. “Does this mean I’ll get to call you Professor Parker when we’re in bed, my love?”
I grinned, pinked with pleasure at both the ideas of my husband’s moves and being addressed that way by anyone. “Give me that.”
There it was. The official words I’d been dying to see for the last three months—really the last six years, ever since I’d been a master’s student at CUNY, hanging out on Amsterdam Avenue and studying at the Morningside campus, dreaming of the days when I could be a part of the most venerated institution in the city of my birth.
Dear Ms. Zola,
We are pleased to offer you admission to the PhD program in English Literature at Columbia University…
The rest of the words of my acceptance letter faded away as other visions took their place.
I could see it now.
Lecture halls full of students. Mountains of papers to grade. Presentations at MLA. Tenure meetings. Being part of a community of scholars as passionate about literature as I’d always been.
Heck, maybe I’d even get a corduroy blazer with patches on the elbows. I wondered if Xavier would mind if I ever needed glasses. Knowing him, he’d probably make me wear them in bed with nothing else on. Give a whole new meaning to being “hot for teacher.”
