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I opened my mouth to argue but found I couldn’t.
The truth was, I wasn’t totally disappointed he was here. Just like I wasn’t mad he had showed up at my doorstep. This was the Xavier I’d been missing all summer. The one who barged in with the grace of a bull, maybe, but whose loyalty to those he loved was never in doubt.
The question was, what had changed?
And would it change again?
We sat together silently, clearly unsure of what to say to each other. Xavier was chewing on his bottom lip while he studied the bulky ultrasound machine, then gazed around the rest of the room, which had been painted dark blue. Maybe to calm terrified expectant mothers like me. Or jittery fathers-to-be like him.
Without thinking, I reached out and set a hand on his knee, which was wriggling like a toddler in a bathtub.
Immediately, Xavier froze, looked down at my hand, then back up at me. The utter vulnerability there was as vivid as a summer sky.
“It’s going to be okay,” I told him. “It’s just a scan.”
“Sure, but—” he cut himself off with a sigh. “All right. Yeah. I know.”
“Thank you for what you said back there,” I whispered as I drew my hand away. “To my mom, I mean.”
Xavier just looked down at me, attention pulled from his obvious worries. “You don’t have to thank me for that, of all things. She had it coming and a lot more.”
I frowned. “Well, I’m grateful.”
He blinked. “It’s what I should have done all along.”
Before I could respond to that, the door opened, and the doctor came in.
Wait, what?
“Dr. Kyler?” I asked as my actual OB-GYN entered the room instead of the tech I was expecting. I didn’t think a doctor had performed a single one of my ultrasounds throughout my pregnancy with Sofia.
“Hello, Frankie,” she said in a calm, direct voice. It was a tone of mild irritation, I thought, but also competence, which was something I valued in a healthcare provider.
“I thought—” I glanced back and forth between her and Xavier, who didn’t seem the slightest bit surprised to see her. But then, why would he? “Doesn’t a tech usually do this?”
“They do, yes,” she agreed as she took a seat on the stool next to the ultrasound machine. “But while my timeisexpensive, Mr. Parker here was willing to pay for it and then some.”
No, I definitely did not imagine the irritation this time.
“The hospital board is also very happy for your donation.” Dr. Kyler’s brow furrowed suddenly. “Or should it be Lord something? I’m sorry, we’re not very familiar with how to address men of your, er, stature around here.”
Donation?
Xavier just quirked a funny smile, assiduously avoiding my inquiring gaze. “Xavier’s fine. I think we’re more interested in what’s going to be on that screen than titles no one cares about.”
“I should think so,” Dr. Kyler replied. “Well, let’s get this show on the road. Frankie, if you don’t mind…”
She gestured toward my legs, which were covered by the paper sheet and my tunic. Obediently, I placed my feet into the stirrups and spread my knee while she turned to the machine and applied a condom and some lubricant to a large wand.
Xavier’s eyes grew about the size of hubcaps. “Is that—where is that—what are you doing?”
I started to giggle as Dr. Kyler moved to a seat between my legs, then sucked in a breath as she inserted the wand between them. “Yes, it’s going where you think it is,” I said. “And Xavi, donotgo down there to look.”
“At this point in the pregnancy, the fetus is usually too small to detect with an abdominal ultrasound, so we do the first ones transvaginally,” Dr. Kyler said in a tone that told me Xavier wasn’t the first man who had ever been shocked by the, well, phallic shape of the instrument. It did look like a really big dildo.
“Doesn’t it—doesn’t thathurt?” Xavier looked like he was going to keel over.
I snorted. “How do you think it felt when you put the baby in there, Xavi?”
