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“I know what you meant,” I interrupted a little too sharply. “And don’t worry, I’m not moving back to the Bronx.”
“Why not?” Kate asked. “It’s not like you have a job down here anymore.”
“You got laid off?” Lea demanded.
“Thanks a lot,” I said to Kate.
From where he stood behind her near the screen door, Xavier just shook his head and scrubbed his forehead with a fist.
Kate made a face. “Sorry.”
I turned to my older sisters. “They let me go because of all the press. I don’t want to get into it.”
“Well, you should definitely move back to Belmont,” Lea said. “There’s room for you and two kids with Marie in France. You can take the attic again with the new baby, just like you did before, and then Sof can take Marie’s room, and—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I argued. “Sofia’s still in school. I’m not pulling her out in the middle of the year because of a single letter. I can find temp work until the baby comes, and I’ll still have my salary until then anyway. We’re going to be fine.”
“But what are you going to do about money after that?” Lea sputtered, rocking Lupe as if to comfort herself more than me. “I’m sure Mattie would give you a few months off paying him back, but what about food? Daycare? Bills? You have the equivalent of three car payments in student loans every month!”
“Lea, I really don’t need you to contingency plan for me right now!” I was almost shouting with her by this point. With every item on her list, my own anxiety rose exponentially, and the fact that I had another mouth to feed growing under my sweatshirt wasn’t helping things.
“She’s going to be fine,” Xavier said bluntly, his deep voice shutting down the entire argument. He turned from the screen door, arms folded across his chest. “She has me.”
“Oh, because you were such a help this summer?” Lea said.
Kate snorted, and Joni said, “Oooh,” under her breath.
“Stop it,” I hissed at her.
“I wasn’t the one who left,” Xavier countered in the dangerously low voice that told me he was very close to losing his temper.
“No, but you were the one to neglect her for weeks,” Lea said. “You basically pushed her on that plane, so let’s not get all high and mighty now, Mr. Duke. And be real. She wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for you. No one would be coming after her. She wouldn’t have lost her job. And she wouldn’t be unemployed with yet another baby on the way.”
“Lea, stop,” I said again, conscious of Derek’s bewildered glances between all of us and the fact that Sofia was just upstairs with her cousins and could come down at any time to hear this drama.
But my sister was on a rampage. “She needs more than a fancy man with a brooding stare who lives three thousand miles away. These are real problems. What are you going to do, throw a few dollars at her and go back to your castle? She needs real support. She needs her family.”
“She has a family!” Xavier seethed.
“Yes, she does!” Lea snapped right back. “We are sitting around this table, you overbearing dick. And we do not include you!”
“That’s enough!” I exploded out of my chair, surprising even myself. “Lea, I appreciate your defense, but you don’t get to talk to Xavier that way. Like it or not, heisa part of this family now, so you’re going to have to deal with that. And you—”
I turned to Xavier, who was watching me with an expression like a lion facing its tamer. I found, though, there was nothing really to tame. He wasn’t the one being rude. He wasn’t saying anything wrong at all, actually.
I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t even know what to do with you. But Lea’s right. Making a fuss over things and being an inconsistent presence isn’t helping either.”
Every person in the room was staring at me by the time I was done, clearly astonished. I understood why. I was no pushover, but I wasn’t prone to this kind of outburst. I didn’t yell. I didn’t shout. I kept my cool, always, because that’s what I was supposed to do as a mother, middle child, teacher, everything.
I took a deep breath and stepped around my chair. “I’ve had all of five seconds to process the landslide my life has become over the past few weeks. None of it is going to get sorted out in the next five minutes, so I’m going to take some time to myself without any of you breathing down my neck.”
Vaguely, I registered my sisters nodding while Xavier just frowned, clearly unsure of what to say or do.
“Derek, thank you for coming,” I said woodenly. “I appreciate it. Really.”
“No problem,” Derek muttered, clearly happy to be freed, though he did have another bite of lasagna.
“As for the rest of you,” I said, pointing a finger all around the room. “I’m going downstairs to think. Do not follow me.”
