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The sun was a warm blanket over my shoulders, and the distant sound of waves and seagulls combined with the hushed breeze through the grass-covered dunes lulled me partially to sleep on Brandon's chest. That feeling was finally back––that one we had worked so hard for before everything had come crashing down last spring. In this moment, I was perfectly content.
Before I had found out about Miranda, and before she had found out about us, Brandon has asked me to move in with him. And despite how overwhelmed I was by his wealth and his life––feelings that I would probably struggle with for a long time––the answer had been easy. I had wanted to share a life with Brandon, share a home with him, because somehow, I had known that Brandon was my home. He was where I belonged.
I didn't know if he would ever ask me that again, although he had mentioned it in passing. Likely not until he had his life straightened out, until he was fully divorced and determined his future in politics. But if he did, I knew the answer would be the same. No matter where he was, where he needed to be, I'd want to be there with him. He was home.
Which made what I needed to do all the more difficult. And all the more necessary.
Oh God, I thought as a ball of fear took root in my stomach. I pressed myself up, causing him to groan against the movement.
"Don't," he mumbled, already half asleep in his equally content, post-coital haze.
I kissed him lightly on the chest, but still sat up.
"Why?" he asked as he opened one lazy blue eye.
I smiled nervously and twirled a few strands of my hair. "I have to tell you something," I tried again.
A dark blond brow quirked. "Now?"
I took a deep breath. I might lose everything, or I might gain everything. But either way, Jane was right. I couldn't keep it to myself if I wanted us to be real. I opened my mouth to speak.
The sound of a loud car horn broke through the air.
Brandon tipped his head toward the house, then smirked back at me. "Looks like the cavalry has arrived."
I wilted. Shit. My mother really did have the best timing. The car honked again insistently, and I tugged my dress back over my shoulders.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," I mumbled to myself.
Brandon chuckled while he pulled on his jeans and T-shirt. The car honked a third time, and now I could hear Janette's "helloooo"s echoing over the lawn along with Annabelle and Christoph's curious voices.
"On our way!" Brandon shouted with a laugh as he slipped on his flip-flops. Then he looked back at me with sudden concern. "Wait. What was it you wanted to tell me?"
Tying my hair on top of my head, I froze, mouth open.
"I...just that I love you. Again."
The words came out before I could stop them, and immediately the ball of fear shrank to a tiny clenched fist. That wouldn't go away, I knew. It had been there for the last month and a half. But this wasn't the right time to talk about it, and I couldn't bring myself to kill Brandon's happy mood.
Brandon's megawatt smile lit up the entire wood despite the fact that we were out in the direct sunlight. He leaned in to give me a hearty, all-encompassing kiss and didn't release me until the car horn blasted for a fourth time and we were both completely out of breath.
"I love you too, Red," he said with another brief smack. "Now let's go welcome your family before they burn the place down."
~
