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"I tried," I said weakly as I refolded a shirt and placed it on the bed. Then I picked it up and refolded it three more times before looking up. "I really did, Jane. But every time...I don't know...you don't know Brandon. The shit he's been through. The shit he's still going through." I sniffed, and pushed away a few tears that suddenly welled around my eyes. "The divorce, his company, and now he's supposed to be announcing his candidacy for mayor. But on top of all of that, here's this guy, this great, amazing man who has never really felt what it's like to have someone love him unconditionally. Not his parents, not his wife, not his foster parents, not his in-laws. No one."
I paused. The thought of all of this was making it hard to speak. Jane, for once, was devoid of pithy comments. I took a deep breath and continued.
"He wanted a family so badly with Miranda, but they couldn't have kids for some reason. And now, just when things are finally getting back to normal between us, you want me to tell him that I took away his next chance to be a father? Jane, I can't do that to him!"
I sniffed the tears away that were starting to fall in earnest, listening as my voice cracked painfully over the words.
"I love him too much," I said finally. "I love him too much to break his heart like that. He'd...he'd never forgive me."
"I don't think that's true," Jane said as she sat up. "I've seen the way he looks at you, Skylar. You could grow green moles all over your face and that man would be on his knees for you."
"Ew," I said.
Jane rolled her eyes. "You could be a secret government assassin. You could develop sudden alopecia and become completely bald. Hell, you could lose your memory tomorrow and that dude would go full-on Notebook."
I couldn't help but grin. She was being ridiculous, but in my heart, I knew that Brandon did love me like that.
"Seriously, though," Jane said as she gripped my hand to pull my attention back. "Sky, you have to tell him. Aside from the fact that it just might get out anyway now that he, and by default you, are in the public eye, you owe it to him. Not because he's done all of these amazing things for you and your family. You owe it to him because you love him. And when you love someone, you have to be honest."
I hung my head, playing with the folds in the duvet while Jane's words sank in.
"I know," I mumbled, more to myself than to her. "I know." I looked up with sudden resolve. "I'll tell him tonight. After the announcement. I'll tell him tonight, and if he doesn't want to be with me anymore, then I'll just have to accept it."
My voice wavered considerably on the last statement, prompting Jane to scoot next to me and wrap her skinny arms around me in a tight hug.
"He won't," she promised. "He won't."
"And you?" I asked. I swiped at the tears under my eyes, and Jane laughed.
"What about me?" she asked.
"How about you try a little honesty too?" I looked in the direction of Eric's room. "I think you'll find our young Dutch friend in there cares about you more than you think."
Jane sighed. "Maybe," she said. "We'll see."
Before I could say another thing, the buzzer rang, loud and obnoxious, through the apartment. I heard Eric shuffling across the floor as it continued, mumbling under his breath something about it being a "freaking Sunday" before he answered the call.
"Who is it?" he drawled. There was a muffled answer. Then, "Hold on."
Jane and I listened to the sound of feet shuffling across the apartment, followed by a swift knock on my door.
"Skylar, you in there?"
"Yeah, come in," I called.
Eric popped his head in, much like Jane had a few minutes earlier. His normally straight blond hair was standing on end, and he took in the scene of Jane and me with obvious, yet calm interest.
"Oh, hey," he said, nodding at Jane as if she has just stopped by for coffee and hadn't spent the last two weeks alone with him in our apartment. Then he looked to me. "Welcome back. Are you expecting a stylist?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Brandon's announcing his run tonight."
Eric's eyes widened at the news. "Okay then. She's on her way up." He then turned briefly to Jane, then flickered a look up and down her bare-legged body that would have turned me bright red in about three seconds. "I'm going back to bed," he said, and shuffled back out.
Jane rose to follow, almost as if pulled by an imaginary string. She backed out of the room with a look of faux-terror, though underneath it I could see clear joy.
"I'm so fucked," she said with a shrug. "Completely and totally fucked."
~
