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Chapter 24
The next evening at work, I was watching the clock while I worked a motion for a new case. It wasn't because I was ready to go. Actually, it was the opposite. I was engrossed in work, and time seemed to fly by. I had another "lesson" tonight with Father Garrett, which I was not looking forward to.
I hadn't expected it to happen so quickly, but work had become a place of solace. As the news coverage of me and Brandon picked up, the main entrances to the apartment building and even Kiefer Knightly were hounded by reporters, day after day. Lucas had been joined with a second security guard just to make sure I could enter the building safely, and my assistant had to vet several phone calls a day from reporters, as well as other people calling to tell me just what they thought about my life decisions. After being screamed at by a man in Bristol, Connecticut that I was a no-good whore who was going to burn in hell, I requested that Peter stop putting through calls that weren't scheduled beforehand.
In that way, I newly appreciated being surrounded by lawyers who practiced confidentiality for a living and who quickly saw me as a co-worker, not a spectacle. The stark halls of the firm became a retreat from the trappings of my real life.
A knock on my open office door pulled me out of the paperwork I was immersed in.
"Mail's in."
I looked up and saw Kieran holding an envelope. She sat in one of the chairs facing my desk and handed it to me with a knowing look.
"What happened to Manny? Isn't this a bit of a demotion for you?" I joked as I took the letter, but all humor died as I saw the return address: Board of Bar Examiners, Boston, MA.
My heart gave a giant thump.
"Well, go on. Open it, and then I can congratulate you properly for dealing with all the shit you've been through recently and still managing to pass one of the hardest bar exams in the country."
I reached eagerly for the letter opener on the desk. "But no pressure, right?" I took a deep breath. "Well, let's see if I still have a job tomorrow."
I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the seemingly benign slip of paper.
"Well?" Kieran said. "Do I have to fire you?"
I scanned the paper, then looked up with a cheek-splitting grin. "No. I passed."
"Good. I knew you would."
I set the paper down and folded my hands over my mouth to hide the smile I couldn't quite stifle. This felt good. It felt damn good. It was the cherry on top of the Brookline-house-shaped sundae that was this week. I didn't even care that I still had two hours with Father Garrett ahead of me. Nothing could take away this feeling.
"How are things at home?" Kieran asked frankly. "How's Brandon doing?"
Except that. And just like that, the good feeling melted away, and the room turned a few shades darker.
I sighed. "They're...yeah."
"You look tired," Kieran said bluntly. "The nightmares are still happening, aren't they?"
I leaned back in my chair and folded my hands over my chest. "I––we talked about it. But..."
"But what?"
I tilted my head. "You know Brandon. He's insanely busy, and thinks therapists just make everything worse." I pursed my lips and sighed. "I don't know what to do. He acts like it's no big deal, but it is. Kieran, I don't think he's gotten a decent night of sleep in almost two months. Not since––not since the kidnapping."
Kieran worried her red lip between her teeth a moment, and her otherwise perfectly smooth brow wrinkled slightly.
I sighed. "Okay, it's not just that. He's...it's hard to explain. Rougher somehow."
"Rougher?" Kieran's alarm––and surprise––was clear.
"No, no, no," I said. "Not like that. With me, he's great. We might be better in some ways than we ever were." I crinkled the empty envelope between my hands as I considered how to explain the slight changes I had noticed. "So, last month, you know he got into a few bar fights, and Cory threatened to quit. There's been nothing since, but he's losing weight. He goes on these ten-mile runs in the mornings instead of just five. And yesterday in a sparring session, he gave Harvey a black eye."
I didn't mention the particularly physical sex from last weekend. I shook my head. They were all small changes, relatively speaking. But everything in my gut told me something inside Brandon was getting worse, not better. And I had no idea how to fix it.
"He used to get the nightmares when he was a kid," Kieran said once she had digested my words.
I nodded. "Yeah, Susan and Ray told me something like that."
