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Pushpa and Kieran stood up as if one.
"We should probably get going too," Kieran said. "Sounds like you've got some cleanup. Unless you need help?" She gave me one of her trademark, pointed looks.
I just shook my head. "I got it," I said as I stood up too.
Jane moved to collect our glasses and bring them to the sink.
"I'm heading to bed too," she said after giving me a quick hug. She was staying in the guesthouse so that she wouldn't wake us when she got up early for her flight back to Chicago.
After everyone had left, I stood for a moment in the kitchen, tapping my fingernails on the new marble countertop. The evening had started out so promising.
When I went into the office, I found Brandon sitting in his chair, staring moodily out the window that faced the lawn. Most of the leaves had fallen from the trees, and outside the rain was starting to come down heavily––a typical late November night.
"Hey," I said. "Everything all right?"
Without a word, Brandon raised his arm, beckoning me to him silently. When I came, he positioned me between his knees and against the desk, placed his hands on my hips while he laid his head against my stomach. Reflexively, I started to comb my fingers through his thick hair, and he sighed.
"Sometimes," he said quietly. "I'm not sure if it's all worth it."
My fingers stilled in his hair, but I just waited for him to explain. My heart thumped a few extra beats. I didn't think he meant me or my family, but a part of me still wondered. He just turned and buried his face into my skin.
"God, I love you," he murmured into me. He nosed up the hem of my shirt and kissed the bare skin underneath.
"Don't," I said gently as his fingers started to creep under the hem of my pants. As much as I would have normally let him have his way with me on top of his desk, this wasn't the time. "It's not going to help you solve your problems."
"But it might help me forget them for a while."
"That's called denial, babe."
I tipped his face up, brushed my hands over his hair. It was immaculately trimmed––Mary made sure it never outgrew anymore, always camera-ready. I twirled a short strand between my fingers. I missed his overgrown curls.
But his eyes were still wide, with that earnest vulnerability he never showed anyone else. It made me want to shelter him with my arms, protect him from the storm that continued to rage outside. And it really made me want to rip Cory a new one.
"Sometimes," he said, so quietly I almost couldn't hear him, "I think about what it would be like to quit. To stay here. Start a family. Tinker around in a lab. Just...be for a while."
I kept stroking his hair. "Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
I didn't say it right away, but the question had been bothering me for some time.
"Do you...do you even want to be mayor?"
Underneath my arms, the muscles in Brandon's back tensed. The hand at my waist curved around me, to hold me close. Maybe to prevent me from looking at him while he spoke.
"I..." I could hear him swallow, and the fingers at my back clenched slightly. "I don't know."
And then his chest caved a little, as if the admission relieved some great pressure on his body. Shaking off his hand, I tipped his head up so I could look directly at him. His eyes were as blue and deep as ever, but a small crease between his brows was furrowed deeply. He was worried, but I wasn't sure why.
"Then why do it?" I asked. "Just because they asked you to?"
At that, Brandon shrugged a little. His hand hadn't left me completely, just drifted back so he could toy with the ends of my hair. He followed the waves drifting over my shoulders.
"God, you're beautiful," he said.
I smirked, even though the words warmed me inside. "Nice try."
In return, I got a lop-sided smile. "I had to try, you know."
