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"I know, Red," he said with a small smile and eyes that shined, even as pain touched their edges. "I know I am."
And when he looked at me, I realized he really spoke the truth. For the first time in months––maybe during the entire time I'd known him––Brandon finally felt safe in his life. My heart swelled. I couldn't have wanted anything more.
Brandon pulled my palm up and kissed the top, then looked back at the house. "Time to say goodbye, like Dr. Jefferson said."
And so we let the house's presence seep into both of us while a few people walked by, looking on curiously. The sounds of car horns and a rumbling train faded into the background. We stood while Brandon absorbed the place of his youth, a catalyst for so much pain and suffering, then and now. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And then he turned to me.
Suddenly I was embraced again, so tight I could hardly breathe. Brandon buried his nose in my hair and inhaled.
"Ah, baby," he kept saying, over and over again, his native Boston accent coming out maybe the thickest I'd ever heard it. "Skylar. Baby. I love you, Red. I love you so fucking much, you beautiful, crazy, stubborn, incredible woman."
It was only when his arms loosened slightly that I was able to look up and see the utter happiness emanating through his incredibly blue eyes. When Brandon was happy, he could outshine the sun. He pressed a kiss on my lips, then another, then another, again and again until I was laughing almost hysterically against the onslaught.
"Ah!" I cried. "Wait! Stop!"
"No," Brandon said in between another several rounds of kisses, landing them all over my face, my eyebrows, my cheeks, even my chin. Finally, he landed one more on my mouth, which turned into something slower, and just a little bit wicked.
"You," he said when he released me again. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything." Brandon chewed on his lower lip, recalling some unseen memory. "You gave me a family again, Red," he said softly. "You. Bubbe. Danny. Annabelle. Christoph. Ray. Susan." He pulled my hands to his lips and kissed them, long, but soft. "I'll never be able to repay you for it, Skylar. But I'll never stop trying." Then a few beats softer: "I sold my stake at the firm."
For a second I thought I was hearing things. I hadn't said a word to him about it––had been mentally preparing myself for years of battling Brandon's anxiety with a cadre of doctors, therapists, possibly even medication as he dove back into the high-stress life of a litigator. That had been his plan––to start working more at the family law clinic he funded through Harvard and take on more defense cases at the firm. I still wasn't sure it was what he wanted, but I was determined to support it, no matter what the cost. He had given me and my family everything. The least I could do was give him all of myself.
But now...
Brandon took both of my hands in his and swung them lightly between us. "It's killing me, Red. It's killing us."
I gulped. "But the firm was your dream..."
Brandon shrugged and looked at the townhouse. "It was...maybe like everything else I've done...an opportunity. When you come from nothing, you're conditioned to think you can't turn down opportunities when they show up, because you think it'll never happen again." He looked back to me. "But I think I was looking for something, Red. Something I've been looking for my whole life and never had until I met you." He gave a shy smile. "I don't have to chase anymore, Skylar, because I have everything I'll ever need. Because of you."
He gave another adorable half-smile that brought out his dimples. My heart squeezed.
"But...you don't think...Brandon, you were made to lead. Anyone can see that," I protested. I had only just gotten my head wrapped around it––how could he let his entire life go so easily?
He just shook his head good-naturedly. "I was made for one thing, Red," he said as he pulled me close. "To love you." He pressed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "I signed the papers last night. The press release went out today. It's done."
Then I realized something else: there had been no nightmares for the last week. None since we got back from New York, since he had told Cory where he could put it. No nightmares. It couldn't be a coincidence.
But another thought occurred to me.
"What will you do?" I wondered. "You're like the Energizer Bunny with an enormous brain. Brandon, you're going to be bored to tears if you don't work."
Brandon shrugged. "I'll set up a new lab at the house. Who knows, maybe I'll even take some classes again. But you want to know the truth? I'm kind of excited to take a break. Think about what I really want to do next." His blue eyes twinkled. "I'm excited to see my wife soar instead."
His words caused my skin to tingle all over. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, wrapped up in each other's arms, nose to nose, blue eyes staring into green. Tears welled up in my eyes; I hadn't known just how badly I'd wanted him to say the words until I heard them come out of his mouth.
"Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you so much."
His lips touched mine softly at first, then a bit more insistently. For the first time, it didn't feel like we were chasing something away, it felt like we were uniting as one front in this crazy life. His tongue touched mine, and I opened willingly. If he wanted me, he could have all of me.
Unfortunately, we were suddenly interrupted by the loud buzzing of Brandon's phone.
"Shouldn't that thing ring less if you're unemployed?" I joked as Brandon pulled it out.
He smirked, but swiped right anyway. "Sterling."
