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Chapter 12
When I got back to the apartment, I had a head full of ideas after texting and emailing furiously the entire ride back. Something had shifted inside me––I couldn't just sit around passively and wait anymore for things to get better. Not for my job, not for Brandon, not for anything, despite the fact that everyone seemed to be telling me to do just that.
The nervous energy followed me back up to the penthouse. I took one look around the cold, empty space and I knew I couldn't stay there. But since it was close to midnight, there wasn't a lot more I could do. I just needed a way to get rid of my nervous energy.
"Lucas," I called out just before my bodyguard disappeared into the elevator.
"Ms. Crosby?" he asked kindly.
"Hold on a sec," I said as I limped toward the bedrooms. "I'm going to go for a swim."
~
I liked swimming at night––it was one of the reasons I belonged to a twenty-four-hour gym. I never had to share lanes with anyone, and I could meditate in the water the same way many people do in the wee hours of the morning. With the flurry of thoughts running through my head at the moment, I wasn't as tired as I should have been after a long day at work and the evening out. I suddenly had a lot of excess energy to burn off.
But despite the fact that it was so late on a Friday, the twenty-five-meter pool on the twentieth floor of Brandon's building wasn't empty.
To my surprise, I walked in to find Brandon's big form hunched at the water's edge. His jacket, shoes, and socks had been neatly cast on a lounge chair, but he still wore a white dress shirt and black vest, his black suit pants rolled up to his knees while he dangled his feet in the water. The pool's reflection cast a halo around his dark blond head, making him look like a tortured angel.
"We'll be all right, Lucas," I said softly, but it wasn't until the door slammed shut that Brandon turned around.
"Jesus," he said, clearly surprised. "What are you doing here?"
I held up my goggles and swim cap as I walked to join him. I tossed my cover-up and flip-flops on the lounger next to Brandon's clothes. Brandon cast a sideways glance down my bared body as I lowered myself beside him, but he was clearly too caught up in his own thoughts to do more than that.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I dipped my feet into the water.
The backlighting of the pool glowed through aqua-colored waves, brightening Brandon's face as he gazed down.
"I came back to the apartment, but you weren't there. I––it surprised me, was all."
I raised a brow. "So you decided to hang out by the pool?" Brandon wasn't exactly an avid swimmer.
He tipped his head. "I guess...it's one of your places, you know? I thought it might help me understand you a little better." He looked at me with eyes that were as blue as the water. "What were you doing out so late?"
"I went for a drink with Eric, then for a walk."
He frowned skeptically, and glanced at my ankle. "A walk?"
I returned his lopsided smile. "Okay, it was mostly a drive. I had David take me to Magazine Park."
Brandon peered at me curiously. "Why did you go over there?"
I smiled shyly. "I thought it might help me understand you better."
His dimples emerged a little at the repeated line, but they disappeared quickly as we both gazed into the water, hypnotized by the ripples of light.
"You know, for a second, I thought you'd left," Brandon said finally. "I thought you'd gotten another apartment after all."
I looked up. "I told you I'd stay. I would never just go––"
"I'm not done," Brandon said gently as he placed his hand over mine on the edge. "Okay?"
I opened my mouth, then shut it again, transfixed by the feel of his wide, warm palm. "Okay."
He twisted his foot around in the water, and the sound of the trickles filled the room. But he didn't take back his hand.
Oh God, I thought. This is it. He's going to break it off, going to tell me we're done. My heart started thumping wildly, and a hundred different ways to beg him to take me back flew through my mind, each more ridiculous than the next. This man was the only person in the world who could really and truly smash my heart apart, and I was going to have to watch him pull out the hammer.
