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He held out the silver cuff I had tossed at him. I stared at it sadly, then looked back up at him. His expression was open and sorrowful, without much hope. It made me want to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss away his grief––grief I understood because it mirrored mine.
“Please, Red. It’s your graduation gift. I…I know it’s over between us, that you don’t want to see me anymore. I still don’t really understand it, but I’ve accepted it. But I couldn’t leave it like that. I hope you understand.”
“But, the flowers and the notes—”
“They’re done.” Brandon’s mouth curved up on one side in a melancholy half smile. “Anyway, I don’t even know where your new apartment is going to be.”
I smiled back. “Well, they were nice. Thank you.”
“Take it,” Brandon said, holding the bracelet out again. “It’ll just remind me of you, and what am I going to do with a ladies’ bracelet anyway? You have freakishly small wrists, by the way.”
Finally, I accepted the bracelet and placed it on my wrist, admiring the way it gleamed in the afternoon sunlight. “I think my wrists are perfectly sized.”
“Yeah, I guess you are pretty perfect.”
When I looked up, Brandon was gazing at me with a look of such unadulterated love, I couldn’t look away. Tears blurred my eyes, and I immediately reached up to dab them out of the corners with the edge of my sleeve. For someone who rarely, if ever, cried, I really couldn’t seem to stop the waterworks lately. It was getting ridiculous.
“Brandon—” I said with a crack in my voice.
“Don’t worry about it, Skylar,” he said, reaching out to wipe another tear from my face with his thumb. “I know, Red. I get it. I just couldn’t let that be our goodbye.”
His fingers traced the edge of my cheekbone and down the edge of my jaw as he held me still with his sad blue gaze.
“Do you think…do you think I could kiss you one more time before you’re gone?” Brandon asked. “Do you think your family would freak out?”
I smiled through my tears. “Probably,” I said. I took a deep breath and leaned into the hand still cupping my face. “But I think you should do it anyway.”
He cupped my other cheek with his other hand and tipped my face up to meet his.
“I’ll always be glad I met you, Skylar Crosby,” he whispered. “You brought me back to life, and I’ll always love you for it.”
Before I could answer, Brandon leaned down and touched his lips to mine, pressing softly and slowly as if to savor my scent and taste for as long as he could. I opened easily for him, savoring him back—too briefly!—before he pulled away. With his thumbs, he tenderly brushed away the new streaks of tears before releasing me with another brief kiss on my head.
“See you, Red,” he murmured and turned to leave.
I watched his tall form disappear through the crowd while I did my best to breathe. In and out. In and out. It was only once I could no longer distinguish his figure from the rest of the people that I finally turned back to my father and grandmother, prepared to deflect their questions. Then I had to figure out, once again, how to be happy now that I had truly said goodbye to Brandon Sterling.
* * *
“We’ll bein the car, all right?”
I nodded at my dad, who rolled my last suitcase into the back of his old station wagon while I did a final survey of the apartment and said goodbye to Jane. We had spent the first part of the afternoon celebrating commencement with Jane and her parents, which was mostly my dad and me deflecting Bubbe’s intrusive commentary about Jane’s gothic style, her parents’ interracial marriage, and the crime rates in Chicago. After Jane’s parents had left for their hotel, Jane and I had gone back to the apartment with my family to wait for the movers and load up the station wagon.
“Hey, Skylar?” Jane called from her room. “Do you have any tampons? I seem to have run out.”
“I think so,” I said, walking back to her room and sitting on her bed to rifle through my purse. “I always kept a couple in here, and I don’t remember packing them.”
She waited patiently while I dug through, searching unsuccessfully.
“Damn, I’m out,” I muttered irritably. “I haven’t bought any since…”
I trailed off as I remembered the last time my period had come. I looked up at Jane, who turned from where she was looking through her bedside table and froze at my expression.
“It’s been six weeks,” I croaked, suddenly unable to speak coherently. “I’m late, Jane. It’s been six weeks.”
Jane flipped around on the bed so she was facing me with crossed legs, and reached out to take my hands and force me to face her as well. “Okay,” she said. “It’s probably not that. I mean, you haven’t slept with anyone since your period, right?”
“Just after,” I said. “The day before I did, that last night with Brandon. And I…shit…we didn’t use protection, Jane.” I looked up, panicked and wide-eyed. “Jane, I forgot to get my birth control refilled on time, and we didn’t use protection!”
