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Please take my hand.
She slowly reaches out and places her hand in mine, and I let myself feel and enjoy the smooth, soft skin in my hand for a moment, remembering how it felt the night of the wedding when we danced, and how now, somehow it’s so much different. Then I slowly wrap each of my fingers around Kasey’s smaller, almost delicate hand, and squeeze as if I’m trying to infuse everything I feel into her body so she’ll understand without words. And I swear to God, by the look on her face, it works, at least a little.
“Thank you for telling me that,” I tell her. “All of it.”
She lets out a breath that she must have been holding and gives me a smile that says she felt everything.
For the first time in a long time, I’ve just made a connection with someone that’s more powerful than an electrical storm, leaving me feeling both overjoyed and terrified.
Kasey
After Matt and Melanie drive off, lake-house bound, I turn to the kids and instruct them to get into the back seat of my car and try to figure out how to awkwardly say good night to Ben. I turn to see him waiting by his car that’s parked next to mine. I take in a deep breath and let it out. He’s seen all my cards, no sense in trying to play it cool now.
“Listen,” I start in quietly as I approach him, “what I told you tonight doesn’t have to affect anything. I’ll drop Luna off at practice and pick her up, and that’s all you’ll see of me.”
“I don’t want that to be all I see of you,” he interrupts, a small fire kindling in his kind eyes, and it makes me heave out a sigh.
“It’s probably better that way though. I just complicated the hell out of an already awkward situation by developing feelings for you. That doesn’t exactly mesh well with your social hang-ups and the fact you live several galaxies away.” He takes a step towards me, looking intent on reasoning with me, but I take a gentle step back; my subtle signal to leave it alone. This is just too dangerous.
He exhales and a subdued expression falls over his face, seemingly reluctant to let the conversation end here, but he can see I’m holding my ground on this.
“See you tomorrow morning,” I say, ready to sign off, but when I round the front of my car, he meets me at the driver’s side door. Unsure of what his intentions are I open my mouth to protest, to tell him again that this can’t be anything more than him being my kid’s temporary basketball coach, when he opens the door and stands aside, holding it open for me.
Stunned, I move on autopilot, taking my seat. I’m overcome with several different reactive emotions. His gentlemanly action is so foreign to me it’s practically alien, and I want to swoon and float on the high of it. This mixes with a dash of disappointment that he’s letting me go that easy, no matter what I just told him.
Once I’m seated, Ben gently shuts my door, closing me inside. His face still holds a look of defeat and confusion that pulls at my heart, unaware that with this gesture, he just made things a thousand times harder.
Chapter Fifteen
Kasey
Apparently,Luna’s coach sure did a number on himself as it’s been two weeks and the tall, fit, handsome, broody loner is still coaching her camp group. It’s okay. The minimal contact has helped me put my feelings for the handsome grump to bed… mostly.
It’s still hard during drop-offs and pick-ups when I can feel the awkward tension zipping between us, but it’s better this way. It was nice of him that evening when I told him how I felt to make me feel like I was in a safe place when confiding in him, but he doesn’t need a lovesick, addict, single mom mooning over him when he’s just trying to coach a bunch of kids.
But the looks he gives me when I pick Luna up everyday are this strange mix of curiosity and yearning, like he wants to say something to me, but thinks better of it each time I give him my half-smile that pleads with him to let it go.
With all the emotional pain I’ve been subjected to by immature asshole man-boys, I can only imagine the number a real, true man would do on me.
I mentally gear up for that same uncomfortable, albeit brief exchange, as I’m due to pick up Luna from camp in a short while, and I’m getting underway with my last client of the day.
“How are you and Luna doing, Kase?” Tyler asks as he settles in to my chair and I drape a smock over him.
The bar Tyler manages, The Cedar, hosted Turn it Up shows for years before they got discovered, and he’s a good friend of the band. He’s also every woman in the tri-county area’s wet dream.
“Eh, the usual,” I absently respond as I secure the smock behind his neck. “We’re doing good though. How about you?”
“So glad you asked,” he gives me a devilish smirk as he fishes in his back pocket and pulls out his cell phone. “As of last week, I am the proud daddy of a gorgeous baby girl,” he announces, as he brings up a photo of a wrinkly newborn with a full head of black hair.
“Oh my God,” I gush, taking the phone from him so I can get a closer look. I miss the days when Luna was that itty. “She’s beautiful! Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” the stud actually blushes.
“So does this mean you’ve finally calmed down?” I ask, referring to his player ways from once upon a time.
“Oh yeah, big time,” he confirms, taking his phone back and opening some kind of sports app. “Annie and I are actually going to get married next month. I’m a family man now.”
“Never thought I’d see the day,” I shake my head with an incredulous smile. “Well, congratulations again! Are we going with the usual style today?” I ask, examining his ends.
