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Her silky brown hair falls in her face, making her look sexy as hell when she tosses it over her shoulder to continue looking down as she fucks me. The friction is getting hotter and my dick swells inside her, signaling how close I am. I’m seconds away, and I feel her walls tightening and her breathing hitch. She’s going to come again; both of us are going to fire off this explosion together. I roll her to her back and cage her head in with my forearms, giving her all I’ve got. I thrust in long and hard and bring my mouth down over hers as she starts to whimper and moan, but it’s mainly to muffle my own noises. I’m coming. I go off inside her so hard, groaning against her lips, my body shuddering and jerking on top of hers as I lose all control. I pound into her several more times with full force while I swallow her cries.
I collapse on top of her, resting my forehead against hers and try to catch my breath. We’re a naked, sweaty pile, gasping and heaving together, and nothing could feel more right about it.
Chapter Eighteen
We lie on our backs,staring up at the ceiling, Kasey’s head using my arm as a pillow while my fingers lightly tickle the skin of her shoulder. After coming inside her, I waited for that urge to bolt to come, and sure enough, it didn’t. Instead, I planted kisses all over her face and pulled her close to me. Even totally sated, I still wanted as much of her skin touching mine as possible; to breathe her in and bask in our own little world.
“Can I ask you a question?” she murmurs, her voice low and content.
“You just did,” I tease, and she lets out a scoff. “Okay, go ahead,” I say, surprised at myself. For several years, the last thing I wanted was for anyone to ask me anything about myself. I wanted to be left alone, to blend into the background. After making love with Kasey, some heavy darkness lifted off of me and I realize I want her to know me.
“Why five years?”
I roll my head to the side to look at her.
“I mean, was that intentional?” she clarifies.
I shake my head gently before answering.
“No. No it wasn’t intentional. I just… I knew it would be a while - alongwhile. And I figured when I was ready I would know it, and that would be it. I just didn’t expect it to take that long. I got so used to my own company that I stopped waiting.”
“How did you know tonight?” she asks, eyes still on the ceiling, avoiding making contact with mine. I turn on my side to face her, cuing her to look at me, her eyes searching; hoping.
“I felt it,” I whisper down at her. “I’ve been feeling it with you for weeks Kasey, and tonight when we kissed, I just knew. Everything inside of me wanted you, to be close to you, and I couldn’t stand the idea of not making love with you.”
She doesn’t answer with words, but rather with a soft, loving look as her hand comes up to cup my cheek. “Your turn,” I smile down at her and she lifts a shoulder in a shrug, clearly uncomfortable.
“I don’t know, I… I hardly ever make it past a second date with anybody.”
“How come?” I ask as I trace a finger around the skin of her bare chest.
“I don’t let any of them meet Luna unless I’m sure there’s a future, and unfortunately, so far all of them haven’t been patient or understanding enough.”
So she’s gone without intimacy for so long because she puts her child’s needs above her own wants.
“You’re one hell of a mom, you know that?” I say, and she lets out a sigh.
“I try. There was one time when I wasn’t, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it,” she confesses and I can hear a small threat of tears in her voice. “It actually ties in with why I put that huge time stipulation on my non-relationships,” she rolls her eyes at herself.
“Will you tell me?” I ask, resting my head on my arm and showing her I’m settling in to give her my full attention. “You don’t have to,” I assure her when she pauses.
“It’s okay,” she whispers and I can see in her eyes she’s calling up some courage to tell me this. “When Luna was two, there was someone. It was one of those whirlwinds. I felt a lot and I felt it hard and fast, and still didn’t have the best sense of self-worth. I wanted to do anything to keep that feeling and the hope of a future with someone that would be there for me and Luna. And that included snorting pills when he asked me to.”
She’s avoiding my eyes again, probably scared of what she’ll see in them, but I keep looking at her, waiting for her to continue. I’m not going anywhere.
“The same damn mistake I had made with the guy that got me pregnant with Luna, I just couldn’t learn,” she shakes her head. “Anyway, I got hooked again of course, and after a couple of weeks, things got out of hand. He knocked me around, the cops were called, and CPS came and took her.”
She’s rushing, trying to get it out and over with. That’s okay. The details aren’t as important as the fact that she’s telling me.
“I had to go to rehab for thirty days if I wanted Luna back, so that’s what I did. I got lucky, she got to live with Matt the entire time, but it was the worst month of my life.”
I take her hand and bring her fingers up to my lips. There’s so much strength and courage underneath that delicate, feminine exterior, and it’s got me spinning. And I want her to know this doesn’t change how I feel about her. If anything, I’ve fallen so much farther.
“I still say you’re an amazing mom,” I inform her.
“Even after hearing that?” she asks tentatively, finally chancing a look up at me.
“Yes,” I answer firmly. “Since then you’ve not once bowed to anyone, even if it means not seeing them again.”
