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And then today, when she picked Luna up and I saw a whole new look on her face I haven’t seen before. It was pensive, but mixed with hope. Like she had a good feeling, but just needed to figure something out.

“Thank you… for your text,” she said coyly, before adding, “I was thinking about you, too.”

I marveled as she walked out of the gym. I have to text her what I’m feeling, but she can just come right out and say it. Because she doesn’t play games, like she told me before.

I allow myself to be soothed by thoughts of Kasey from that first look, to her lips against mine while my hands threaded in her hair.

And just when I thought I’d forgotten about the mystery of the dream, it hits me.

The dream was different, because now,things are different.

Chapter Twenty-One

Ben

The days go on,and I’ve fallen into a routine. I get up, excited to see Kasey for the two minutes when she drops Luna off at practice, and then I spend the next six hours trying to keep six squirrels in line while I teach them to strengthen their skills and agility.

The original coach called me to tell me he was all healed up and ready to step back in, but that he’d been hearing good things about me from the parents, I know, I’m shocked too, and asked if I wanted to stay on for the rest of the summer for the sake of consistency with the kids. This was my chance to call my stint back in the States good and pack up to head back to my boat and my solitude. But to my surprise, I found myself responding “Sure, sounds good.”

In just one phone call, I had extended my stay to a significant amount of time which meant a couple more changes, like turning in my rental and getting a vehicle of my own. Even if I only stayed until the end of summer, buying my own transportation and then selling it off would be more financially efficient than continuing to rent a car. It was ridiculous how I’d kept it for as long as I have.

I should also probably get out of Matt and Melanie’s house as they’re going to need it back at some point. I know they have to set up shop in the city from time to time so that Matt can write and practice with the rest of the band. I should probably find a furnished apartment with a month-to-month lease or something while I keep biding my time around this place.

When I agreed to stay on, I told myself it was for the kids, to help out, to be a good guy, and that the plan is to go back to the land of serene landscapes and no people. But the truth is, I’m not feeling the pull to go back that I thought I would when I first got on the plane to come out here. Aside from strangers that try to make small talk at the grocery store, I don’t feel that expected yearning to go back. Oh, and when single basketball moms try to hit on me – except for one. The one I find myself aching to be around. The one I spent an unforgettable night with, kissing and touching, I’ve relived that night countless times in the shower and alone in bed at night, getting myself off to thoughts of Kasey, her lips against mine while she’s wrapped around my dick. I could tell myself that I’m just being a horny man who found someone that makes his dick twitch for the first time in years, but it would be a bold-faced lie. I long to just be near Kasey, just to sit in the same room with her. Watching her light up when she comes to pick Luna up at the end of the day gives me fucking life, making me remember how good it is to feel something again; how good it feels to want things.

That said, I don’t know what the hell it is I want for my life, I just know I want something. Something more than the nothing I’ve been taking from it. I just know Kasey has something to do with it and that I want to make her light up like Luna does, but maybe in a different way.

And Luna.

That kid has a way of making me laugh, and also making me realize I’m feeling and wanting things in her own little way.

Even though I can’t quite see what it is I want, I feel so close to it I could reach out and touch it.

These thoughts swirl around me like a mild tornado while I leisurely shoot hoops in the gym, waiting for the kids to show up. I dribble around the court, practicing jump shots and layups and get so in the zone I don’t realize the first kid and parent have entered the gym - and that they happen to be Kasey and Luna.

“Hi, Ben!” Luna cheerfully shouts from over by the bleachers, jarring me out of thoughts about her and her mom.

I look up to see the two of them and feel a small twinge of satisfaction at the look on Kasey’s face from watching me just now. She looks at least mildly enthralled, and it gives me hope that my thoughts of her aren’t one sided, no matter how much she’s spent the last week and a half pretending nothing happened.

If you could just keep sending me signs that you keep thinking about that night too, that’d be great.

I catch the rebound of the last shot I made and jog towards them, dribbling the ball as I go before bouncing it to Luna who delightedly takes it back to the hoop and immediately starts shooting.

I turn to Kasey, who gives me a smile which both thrills and disappoints me. It’s beautiful, but shows no hint of anything other than pleasantries, and I notice her hand is resting on the handle of a small roll-away suitcase that’s decorated with butterflies in purple and turquoise.

“Hi,” I greet, a little out of breath from my warm up.

“Hi,” she says back cheerfully, but I can sense murky waters below the sparkling surface. Something’s been stirring inside her since that night I took care of Luna. I may not be good with people, but I can sense it in Kasey.

“What’s with the suitcase?” I nod my head at it.

“Actually, Matt and Melanie are going to be picking her up today. She’s going to the lake with them for the weekend,” she informs me with raised eyebrows and a lilt to her voice.

“Oh,” I say, trying not to let my disappointment show that I won’t be seeing her this afternoon. Whether I’m trying to convince her or myself is a whole other story. “Well, that will be fun for her.”

“Yeah,” she shrugs. “So I’ll see you Monday,” she turns to head out the door before turning and taking a couple of backward steps. “Have a great weekend.”

“Yeah…” I respond absently, thinking about how she’ll be alone this weekend. “You, too.”

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