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The blood was rushing in my ears so fast it sounded like thunder. My vision started to blur around the edges, and all of a sudden I couldn’t get enough air. My head felt like it had detached and was floating above me.
“Trent? You there?” the disembodied voice of my sister asked. My sister! My twin.
“Charlotte,” I breathed, that one word so soft I wasn’t even really sure I’d said out loud it or just thought it.
There was a brief pause as my heart cracked and splintered into a million pieces. “Who is this?”
“Charlotte,” I whispered again. It was the only word bouncing around in my brain, the only thing I could think.
I thought I heard a soft sob from across the line. “Cheyanne?”
At the sound of my old name, myrealname, said in such a familiar voice, a sense of panic so strong it almost took me to the ground took over. Before I knew what I was doing, I’d ripped the phone from my ear and ended the call.
“Oh my God,” I panted, my vision blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. The trembling had moved from my hand, spreading throughout my entire body, shaking me so hard I felt it jarring my bones. I let out a choked sob. “Oh my God.”
“Sawyer?” At Trent’s voice, I whipped around so fast my hair lashed at my face, making my skin sting. “Baby? What’s wrong?”
He took a step toward me and I jerked, jumping back like he’d just slapped me. His forehead was chiseled with deep grooves of worry. “Sawyer, sweetheart. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Who are you?” I asked on a whisper before something inside of me snapped, “Whothe fuckare you?”
“What are you talking about?” He advanced again, and this time I held up the hand that was still clutching his phone to stop him. I hadn’t even realized it was ringing until that very moment. “Is that my phone?” he asked, panic injecting into his eyes.
The ringing stopped and started again almost immediately. “You had a call.” Accusation dripped from my words like venom as I threw the phone at him.
He caught it easily. Looking down at the screen, his face bleached of all color, turning a sickly shade of white. I could only assume it was the same person.
“Sawyer, honey—”
“Don’t call me that!” I shouted. “You already know my real name, don’t you? You’ve known this whole time. I mean, you’ve been looking for me, right?” I shoved my finger at the still-ringing phone he was clutching in a white-knuckle grip. “How long?”
“Sawyer—”
“Howlonghave you been looking for me?” I repeated, my voice growing shrill.
He inhaled through his nose as the phone started up again. This time, he shut off the ringer and shoved it into his back pocket. “Six months.”
“Six months,” I choked out, part sob, part laugh. “So all this time... Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve said, it’s all been a lie.” I reached up and raked my fingers through my hair as a deluge of tears streamed down my face. “Oh my God. I let you near Renee. I let you be a part of my baby’s life, and you’ve been lying thewhole time!”
He rushed me then, taking my face in his hands. “It wasn’t a lie,” he demanded, pulling me close and pressing his forehead into mine. “None of it was a lie, baby. Everything you felt, I felt too. Everything I said, it was all real. I tried not to want you. I tried to keep my distance. That was why I took off after that first kiss. But I couldn’t stay away. I just couldn’t.”
His fingers pressed harder against my cheeks. “What I felt for you... I’ve never felt anything like it in my whole life. I had to be near you, and the more I got to know you, the more real it’s gotten. I fell for you. I want to be with you. You and Renee. You two mean everything to me.”
“Stop it,” I whispered brokenly.
“I fell in love with you.”
“Stop it,” I repeated more firmly. I felt like I was breaking apart. I knew that it would hurt when this ended, but I never imagined it would be this bad. It was agony.
“Cheyanne. Sawyer. It doesn’t matter what you call yourself. You’re still the same person here.” He pressed a palm against my chest right above my heart. “That’s who I fell in love with.”
I couldn’t take it any longer. It was too much. “Stop it!Just stop!” Ripping away from him, I stumbled back and circled the bar, putting space and a physical obstacle between us. “Stop saying that. You don’t know what the fuck that word means. You’re a liar.” My voice broke on a sob. “All this time,” I cried, clutching at my chest. “All this time, you’ve known my sister. You’ve been a part of her life. And you’ve kept her from me!”
“You have to understand—”
“You heard the bedtime story!” I threw back in accusation. “You knew what that story was really about, didn’t you?” He didn’t bother with words, instead, he just nodded, his expression ravaged. “You knew who Renee was named after, and youkept herfrom me. Mytwin. Who does that? What kind of person could be that cruel?”
His voice sounded like he’d gargled with glass when he spoke next. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. I saw this life you’d built for yourself and Renee, and I wanted to protect it. I was going to tell you, I swear to God. I was trying to find the right time. I thought that maybe if I could get you to trust me, it wouldn’t be such a major blow. You wouldn’t get scared and feel like you had to run again. But—” He stopped, giving his head a vicious shake.
