AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The mind is what is sacrificed for our desire.
The frenzy makes us feel as if we’re reaching a higher plane above humanity and becoming godlike. But the gods could never feel as we do, be as passionate as we are. Because they bear no pain.
Our great pain inspires our great art.
Without the capability to descend to the depths of suffering, we are never able to experience the sheer, transformative ecstasy of pleasure.
There are no high and low notes.
Without my muse of heartbreak, I would have never experienced this deep pain, because I was not designed to feel this alone. I would have coasted through this life, unfeeling, unmoved. A callous, reviled rock of mediocrity.
What she brought me was something so ineffable, a love so divine, I would insult it just by trying to describe it.
So while it’s true that to live is to suffer, we also have the ability to ascend to far greater heights than mere survival of this life. Look for the symbols. Follow the course. Seize your madness.
It’s been two years since Halen and I destroyed every article of evidence from the Harbinger’s last scene at our mountain home. Two years since my beautiful muse submitted to her dark flame that binds us together. And not a single day passes where I don’t acknowledge that a single flutter of a wing could’ve deviated our course.
Like the gnarled trees of the marsh, without her, I would have become one of them, twisted and decrepit, trapped in the seventh circle of hell by my own violence.
Hope is such a frail and flimsy emotion to hang our desires on.
While I hoped Halen would choose us in the end, the fiend in me made damn sure every move was meticulously calculated to ensure there was no other outcome.
For her, I will always be that devil.
From the moment I witnessed her wield her pain like a fury from the underworld, I understood I could have never been the one to offer her that complete solace, no matter how much I desired to be.
It was her who had to bring her course full circle.
I was merely an instrument in her design.
But I could look into her beautiful eyes of storm clouds and showering stars and accept her darkness. I could devour every last drop of guilt and shame that wanted to lock her in purgatory. I could become the demon of her nightmares, the monster of her shadowy abyss, and kill ruthlessly for her. This dark seed was already planted in my nature, but she gave it purpose.
My only risk of damnation was if I didn’t get the girl.
I lean against the deeply veined bark of a tree and spin my ring, thoughts chasing the symbols that still linger amid this marshland like the dwindling light peeking through the branches of black willows.
Halen is down in the ravine visiting her memories. I give her this time every year to be alone with her thoughts.
She’s become a highly sought-after criminologist the feds and other agencies request for the highest profile cases. Once she moved out of the shadows, accepting her unorthodox and even dangerous methods to profile the killers she hunts, she’s become renowned in her own right.
As for me, I never returned to my full-time position at the college. Rather, I opted to elevate my assistant professor, Ryder, to take over my course load so I could accept a research grant to write a book. While I’ve funded most of the research and trips myself, having it partially funded through the university faculty grant will give the project an air of credibility in academia for those who need that shit.
The book itself delves into the awakening I underwent during my sabbatical years ago in Egypt—the one that plunged me into the depths, where I uncovered a dark secret that the ancients hid from us all.
This awakening, I have no doubt, will rock the academic realm.
But damn, chaos is coded in my DNA. Let’s raise some fucking hell.
Hermes was the trickster god, after all.Wink.
So now, Halen and I divide our time between investigating crime scenes and traveling for the book. And in the moments between, we fuck, and fight, and love, and feed our desires.
We do have particular tastes—and an insatiable appetite.
When we’re hungry, we eat.
We’ve become quite adept at feeding our cravings.
