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Watching the ice blocks swirl in my water while I spin my straw, I reply, “I just wish it was over, all of it.”
“I know you do. So do I,” Quinn confesses. “But we’ve come this far, and it’s nearly over.”
I cringe when I hear the word over because that equates to my dad being over—over and done with, and he deserves it. No one deserves that fate more, but I can’t help but wish my life had turned out differently.
I mean, once it’s done, what happens then? What happens to Quinn and me? Will Quinn resent me and hold me responsible for something we can never change once it’s done? He says he’s okay with committing murder, but am I?
The memory of Hank lying in his own blood, watching me with those soulful eyes, replays in my mind, and I know what the answer is.
I know I will never be the same once I kill my father. But the day my father and Phil shot an innocent man in cold blood, a man only trying to protect me, changed me forever.
And I’m ready.
“Red?” Quinn asks, and I snap my head up, as I have totally spaced.
“I’m fine, sorry. I’m just being an idiot,” I reply, trying my best to smile.
Quinn reaches for my hand across the table, entwining his warm fingers through mine.
“I’ll do it. You won’t have any blood on your hands,” he whispers, not wanting to be overheard by the patrons sitting around us in the busy diner.
“No,” I reply firmly, shaking my head. “I’m doing it. Ihaveto do it.” Quinn understands I need to do this; otherwise, I will never be able to move on.
“I promise you, when this is all over, you’ll live a normal, boring life, gossiping about all the things a typical nineteen-year-old girl should be gossiping about,” Quinn says, squeezing my fingers.
Laughing, I reply, “Somehow, I don’t see that happening, but one can dream.”
Quinn turns serious, his eyes focusing on me. “I want that for you, Red. You deserve that. You deserve to be free,” he adds, and I hate that he sounds undeserving of the same fate.
“So do you,” I reply softly, and now I’m squeezinghisfingers.
But Quinn only shakes his head, slipping his hand out from under mine.
“What? You don’t think you deserve a normal, boring life?” I question, watching the regretful expression mar his beautiful features.
“My chance at being normal and boring is long gone,” he replies, barely audible.
I know he’s referring to whatever skeletons he has hidden in his closet. And although I haven’t pushed, I wish he’d open up about his past. Deep down, it hurts that he won’t trust me enough to tell me what happened to shape him into the man he’s become.
The man who has sacrificed everything—for me.
Whatever Quinn has done, it’ll never change how I feel about him. Nothing will sway my feelings. No matter how horrifying, I will never stop believing in him.
“So if push comes to shove and your father doesn’t make his move, will you be okay if we go to Canada?” Quinn asks, leaving unsaid,will I be okay if I see my mom?
I shrug, suddenly feeling claustrophobic at the mere thought of her. Being on the run, attempting to dodge my dad, Phil, and the police, and trying to figure out Justin’s angle meant seeing my mom fell low on the priority list. But now that I’m faced with a real possibility of actually seeing her, I realize that no, I won’t be okay.
But I put on a brave face and nod, very unconvincingly. Quinn sees through my charade, and I sense he’s about to say something I won’t like.
“Red…” He rubs a hand down his fatigued face before he continues. “Will your dad figure it out?”
I cock an eyebrow, unsure of what he means.
“What if your dad has figured out we’re headed for Canada, and he…goes after your mom?” he clarifies.
The thought has a wave of nausea weighing heavily within my gut, and I cover my mouth, part in shock, the other to stop myself from being sick. I never thought that far in advance, and after the Lucky incident, my dad going after my mom seems very feasible.
He is out to destroy everything I love, and even though I don’t knowwhatI feel for my mom, I know I would never forgive myself if he hurt her. As it would just be another person I have indirectly hurt because of my choices.
