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I instinctively rub my chest. This story is causing my heart to hurt.
“Chandler was moving to Canada, and he asked me to come with him because he wanted to keep the baby. He said he loved me and wanted to marry me. But—”
“But what?” I know this is where my history is about to turn cruel.
“He didn’t know about you,” she whispers, ashamed.
Suddenly, the wheels in my head begin turning, and Cynthia can see me piecing it all together.
“I was weak, Mia. I know it’s no excuse, but I was broken and beaten. Your father had broken me.”
“No, it’s not an excuse,” I spit out.
“I know, and I’ll forever regret my decision. Your father overheard me talking to my mother and put two and two together. He confronted me, and I told him everything. I didn’t know how he would respond, but what he said next was the last thing I ever thought he’d say.
“He told me he would give me a divorce and wouldn’t cause me any problems. He would let me go and pretend he never existed.”
“But…?” I prompt because this all sounds too good to be true.
“But I was to leave you with him. I said no, absolutely not, but he said if I wanted a chance at a normal life, then I was to forget you and he ever existed, and if I didn’t…”
“What?”
“He would find us and make us all pay. Me, you, and Polly.”
“What?” I gasp because there’s no way I heard her correctly.
There is no way she left me there with a deranged lunatic, knowing full well that he was willing to hurt his three-year-old daughter to spite her.
“How could you leave me? With an obvious psychopath!”
“I know, Mia.” She sobs. “I made a mistake.”
“Mistake? Running a red light is a mistake. Mixing your colors with whites is a mistake. Leaving your daughter with her maniacal father is not a mistake. It’s a fucking tragedy!”
“I know, I know.” She sniffs, losing her composure as she covers her face.
“Why did he want me?” I ask, straightening my spine. I will not collapse, not yet. I need to know how this story ends.
“To hurt me,” she replies, wiping away her tears. “He wouldn’t allow me complete happiness. By holding on to you, he made sure I would never forget him. A piece of me would always be missing, and he would always have the upper hand.”
“I wasn’t a damn bargaining chip!”
“I know,” she confesses, nodding. Her eyes search mine, hoping I will absolve her of her sins. “Please forgive me.”
“He made you choose, and you chose another life. A life that was simpler without me in it. How can I forgive you?” I ask, my voice quivering in rage but also in utter defeat.
Cynthia silently cries as she lowers her head, her shoulders trembling with every tear she sheds.
“So what happened?” I ask, needing to hear the god-awful truth before I pass out.
“I left you because of Phillip. He loved you, Mia.”
I’m unable to contain my disbelief.
“He may have been a shitty brother, but he loved you,” Cynthia affirms, believing her bullshit lies.
“Loved me? He turned me into a drug dealer!” I shout because surely, she’s gone insane.
