Page 15 of Kind of a Hot Mess


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I start laughing.Really laughing.

And there’s nothing fake or forced about it.

Chapter 6

Aaron

Shit.I’ve really fucked up this time.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

“I’m sorry, Melissa,” I say as Gram takes my elbow and turns me away from the window.“I still love you, but the tooth fairy is…the tooth fairy.Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying, you idiot,” she says, swiping at her eyes.“I’m laughing.”

I frown, batting Gram’s hand away from my back with my good hand.“Careful, Gram.My butt’s back there.”

“I know, honey,” she says.“It’s hanging out in the breeze for everyone to see.Let’s get you back in bed before you hurt yourself.”

“Or your butt ends up on television,” Mel says, still laughing as she moves to close the door to the room.“There are already reporters sniffing around downstairs.”

“What are they sniffing for?”I ask, envisioning the reporters with giant dog noses in the middle of their human faces.My upper lip curls at the thought.“Gross.”

“What’s gross, dear?”Gram asks, pulling back the thin sheet on the bed.“Can you help me with him, Melissa?”

“People shouldn’t have dog noses,” I say, which for some reason sets Melissa to giggling again.I shift my focus her way as she comes to stand beside Gram.“They shouldn’t.That’s not right.Or natural.”

“It sure isn’t,” she agrees, her cheeks pink as she puts an arm gently around my ribs.I frown but let her guide my bare backside onto the stiff mattress and lift my legs up after them.“Back into bed, buddy.Tooth fairy’s orders.”

“Oh no, is she mad?”I ask, glancing toward the window.

“Super mad,” Melissa says.“The only way you’re getting that BJ is if you stay in bed and wait there peacefully until it’s your turn.”

My eyes widen.“She’s seeing other guys?”

“She is.You’re one of many, my friend,” Mel says.“You can’t tie a mythical icon down.That’s for mortal women only.”

“Does she know my cock is really pretty?”I ask, a little hurt.“It is, right, Melissa?You said my cock was pretty.The prettiest one you ever saw, and nice balls, too.”

Melissa chokes on her next breath, but she’s still laughing as she says, “You’re out of your mind, buddy.But I’m sure your balls are great.”I start to insist that sheknowsthey’re great because she sucked on them at one point during our sex fest in her living room, but she cuts in, “Shh.You have to quit talking, lie down, and pretend to be asleep.If you don’t, the tooth fairy won’t come.She’ll go down the hall to the old man who just had knee surgery, and she might give him a heart attack.You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

“She blows old guys, too?”I hiss, scandalized, but still pretty sure I want that BJ.I’m not sure how I know that the tooth fairy is fabulous at oral sex, but I’m as sure of it as I am that the sky is blue and that my leg hair suddenly looks a lot like dark brown worms.

“Are my legs covered in worms?”I ask, vaguely troubled by the thought until Mel pulls the covers over my legs.

“No, you’re fine,” she assures me, smoothing my hair from my forehead.

I relax back onto the pillow with a smile.“That feels nice.I’ve missed your touch.”

“Yeah, I get that from all the guys,” she murmurs, worry creeping into her gaze as she glances down at the parts of me that feel like they’re made of swollen balloons.“Jesus, Boudreaux.You’re all banged up.”

“I can’t feel it anymore.I’m made of balloons,” I say.“Part balloons.Part human parts.But mostly balloons.”

Her brow furrows as she continues to pet my forehead in that sweet, soothing way.“I’m glad you’re mostly made of balloons.I bet that hurts less.Now get some rest.Gram and I will hold down the fort and wake you up when the tooth fairy gets here.”

I frown, but my eyes are already getting heavy as I murmur, “Gram has to leave when the tooth fairy gets here, but you can stay and watch if you want.”

“I’m honored,” she says dryly.

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