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“Yay!”Chase cheers, clapping from his car seat.
My eyes go wide.“No way.We are not adopting a mentally ill squirrel.”
“Aw, don’t be that way,” Mel says.“He’s not mentally ill.He’s just lonely and your biggest fan.”She squints as she tosses a cashew on the ground near the steps.Nutty rushes for the treat, holding it tight in his paws as he nibbles.“And I’m not sure he’s a squirrel.His tail isn’t as fluffy.Not like the other squirrels in the yard, anyway.”
“He’s probably a mutant,” I mutter.“A devious, demon mutant determined to lure you into his cute web, convince you to let him sleep in your bed, then hump your face all night.”
“To be fair, he only seems interested in your face,” Mel says, tossing the creature another nut and extending her hand.Before I can warn her not to touch it, Nutty has shifted under her fingers and is eagerly accepting her gentle scratches as he eats.His glassy eyes narrow to slits of pleasure and a faint gargling sound issues from his throat.
“What the hell is that?”I ask.
“He’s purring,” she whispers, delight lifting her features.“He’s squirrel purring.Oh, Aaron, he’s precious.I’m calling Starling to see if she can fit Nutty in for a check-up with the vet at the shelter.He specializes in wild animals, as well as domesticated ones.He should be able to tell us if Nutty’s healthy, and whether it’s legal to have a pet squirrel in Minnesota.”
Shaking my head wearily, I sigh.“Yeah.Sure.Sounds great.Not that the law has ever stopped a McGuire from adopting a weird animal.”
She looks up, frowning.“What are you talking about?”
“Christian has a pet skunk.”
Her brow smooths.“Oh well, yeah, but Bella isn’t weird.She’s darling.And she was raised in captivity.It wouldn’t be safe for her to live in the wild.Christian’s only breaking the law to keep an innocent creature safe.”
“And there’s no way Keanu Reeves is actually a dog,” I add.“He’s a mutant, too.Probably spawned in the same lab as Nutty the Face Humper.”
Nutty’s eyes widen my way, as if taking offense to the comment.But Mel gives him another cashew and he settles down again, basking in the combo of yummy treats and head scratches.“Well, I’m not intending to break the law.If squirrels are illegal, we’ll have to leave Nutty with the shelter folks.”She stands, propping her hands on her hips before muttering in a softer voice, “I can’t afford to give Ben any ammunition.”
“What do you mean?”I ask, casting a glance to where Chase is making his two knight puppets talk to each other in the back seat.“Did something happen with you and Ben?”
“Not really, but sort of,” she says, sighing.“It doesn’t matter, though.It’s going to be fine.”She blinks and looks up sharply.“Oh my God, that reminds me—how did the scans go?I’m sorry I didn’t ask before.It’s been another chaotic day.”
“They were fine,” I say evasively.
Mel starts back toward the car, casting glances over her shoulder as she moves.“Fine?What does that mean?”
“It means I’d rather not talk about it right now,” I say, “If that’s okay.”
I don’t know what to think about the scans, what to feel.So, I’ve decided to put that off for a few days.Maybe until next week, when I have a meeting scheduled with Coach to discuss what comes next for me and the Midges.
Mel scoops Chase out of his car seat, propping him on her hip as she turns back to me.“Of course, but…” She trails off, then forces a smile.
I can tell it’s forced because her eyes don’t shine the way they did a moment ago when she was petting Nutty.At least the little monster makes her happy.If she wants a sexually deviant squirrel as a pet, who am I to argue?
“Yeah, that’s totally fine, whatever feels best for you,” she continues, glancing at Chase.“What feels best to you, Chase?You want to go see the house?”
“Yeah,” he says, pulling at the top of his coat.“I’m hot and need a snack.A nut snack, like Mr.Nutty.”
Melissa grins.“You want to try cashews again?I thought you said you didn’t like them.”
“I changed my mind.”He shifts in Mel’s arms, keeping his gaze locked on Nutty as Mel moves toward the porch steps.“Can’t he come inside, Mama?He’s going to be cold in the snow.”
“It isn’t supposed to start snowing until midnight and he’s a wild animal, buddy,” Mel says, joining me on the front porch.“He’ll be fine outside until I can get him over to Auntie Starling to get checked out.”
“But what if he runs away?”Chase asks.
Mel lifts her shoulders, hitching him higher on her hip.“Then, that’s his choice.He’s a free beastie and we have to respect that, right?”
Chase frowns.“I guess so.”
“You wouldn’t want someone to put you in a cage without your permission, would you?”she asks.
