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Katie cleared her throat as Colin cocked his head. Sensing he was about to ask what sexy meant, I said, “Colin, it’s time for a bath. Go find Alice, okay?”
Colin climbed closer to Katie, hugging her around her belly. “Bye Mom,” he said. “Bye sissies.”
Then he ran off, as if calling Katie “Mom” for the first time was no big deal. I suppose to him it wasn’t.
“Oh,” Katie said, her eyes welling with tears. “Did I just hear what I think I heard?”
I smiled at her. “You did.”
She sniffled. “That’s so sweet.”
“He’s lucky to have you as a Mom,” I said solemnly, meaning it with all my heart. She’d been spending so much time with him since moving in with us, and Colin was so excited that she was carrying his sisters. I knew that he adored her and I thought hemight have an idea how I felt about her, too. I just wished that I could express it to her.
“And I’m lucky to have you,” she said. “Waiting on me and taking care of me like you do.”
“You deserve it. You’re busy baking two perfect little girls,” I said, crawling into bed with her as Colin ran out of the room to find Alice, who was probably downstairs doing laundry. I slid my arms around Katie’s stomach, always amazed at how tight it felt, like a basketball. Or really, a beach ball, given that there were two babies in there and a beach ball was closer in proximity to the size. I let my fingers caress her skin from her stomach, down to her hips. Oh how I wanted her, to feel her underneath me again. I kissed the back of her neck and she let out a groan of pleasure.
“You make me sound like an Easy Bake oven,” she said, and I laughed, kissing along the side of her face, putting my hand on her belly and feeling my daughters kick at me.
“They get so active when you’re home,” Katie murmured. “It’s like they know Daddy’s voice already.”
“I hope they do,” I said softly, rubbing a spot on her belly. It was where one of the twins usually stuck her foot out and it hurt Katie’s ribs. When I rubbed it, the twin would move her limbs around.
Katie sighed in relief. “Thank you. She’s been in my ribs all day.”
“Did the cold water the doctor asked you to try help?”
She looked at me sheepishly. “I didn’t want to ask Alice to get it for me.”
I frowned. “Alice is perfectly happy to help you out, Katie. She loves you and wants you and the twins to be comfortable.”
“I know,” she said. “I just hate being stuck here like this and so helpless.”
I nodded sympathetically. “It won’t be for very much longer. Just about six more weeks until the doctor can induce labor.”
Katie leaned her head against my shoulder and I rested my head against hers. It was nice, sitting like that with her. It made my heart swell in my chest.
If I could ever love anyone, it would be Katie. I had to give what I was feeling a name and tell her about it. I no longer wanted to keep it hidden in this dark place in the depths of my soul. I wanted to finally let it out into the light and let it shine for Katie to see and feel.
I did love her.
Yes, I loved Katie.
“"Katie… I…”" My voice fell silent, not finding the words. How do you tell someone you love them? Do you just blurt it out? Do you say it in a poem? Do you write it in a love letter?
She held her hand up to caress my face as if to let me know she was listening, her head still on my shoulder.
But what if I said the words and she laughed at me or told me she didn’t love me back? Once I put the words out there, there’d be no return, nowhere to hide. I’d be opening up to her in a way I’d never had with any woman. “Nothing,” I finally said.
Coward.
I needed to find courage in my vulnerability. Wasn’t the modern man supposed to be in touch with his feelings, not ashamed to share them, especially with the woman he loved?
Katie deserved my honesty. She deserved a man who would love her and scream it out to the four corners of the earth. And if I didn’t tell her, I knew I would eventually lose her. She was waiting for her man to step up. And I was her man. Just like she was my girl.
“Katie,” my voice came out in a squeak and before I could send it out again in a strong, confident tone, she spoke.
“I wanted to talk to you about Colin,” she said.
