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I could lose her. I could lose all three of them.
And then what would I do? Who would I be without Katie and these little girls that I already loved so much even though we hadn’t met?
I couldn’t bear to think that way. Luckily, they immediately began to prep Katie for surgery, rubbing iodine on her belly and beginning an IV. All I could do was watch helplessly, standing near Katie’s head, leaning down to kiss her face over and over.
“We’re going to give you some medicine to deaden everything below the waist,” the doctor said. “You shouldn’t feel anything but pressure. Let us know if you’re feeling any pain after the medicine goes in.”
Katie began to hyperventilate and I pressed my forehead against hers from behind, cupping her face upside down.
“Breathe, baby. In through your nose, out through your mouth,” I told her. “Breathe slow, and steady. Everything’s going to be okay.”
That was about the fifth time I’d said that, but I just wanted it to be true. I just wanted all my girls to be safe.
Katie slowly began to calm down and she looked at me with wide brown eyes. “If something happens,” she began, and I cut her off with a kiss on the lips.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” I assured her. “Except for that we’re going to have two healthy baby girls.”
“But if something does happen, Adam... save the babies,” she whispered, and my heart sank to my toes. I hoped to God I’d never have to make that kind of decision.
I couldn’t watch as they cut her open, and she winced at the pressure from the scalpel. I kept whispering comforts to her, humming, doing anything I could to distract her. I missed it when the first twin was born, because I was too focused on Katie,but when I heard that mewling cry come from my first-born daughter, tears burned at the backs of my eyes.
She was gorgeous, even with her face all scrunched up and screaming, and I wanted to hold her right away, but they rushed her to get her cleaned up and Katie looked at me desperately.
“What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with her?” she asked, panicked.
“Nothing at all,” I said, smiling down at her. “She’s perfect, just like her mother.”
Katie gave me a weak smile in return, but I didn’t like how pale she still looked.
I hoped it wasn’t from the loss of blood. It took another five minutes before our second daughter was born, and she was screaming bloody murder where her sister had only whined out little cries. Our second-born was angry about being taken from her mother’s womb, it seemed, and I grinned at her. She might be my little firebrand.
It was so strange, how instantly they seemed to have different personalities, and I leaned down to talk to Katie about it but then I realized that her eyes were closed, her mouth slack. I patted her cheeks.
“She’s fainted,” I muttered, and then yelled it at the doctor, who looked to be busy behind the curtain of sheet they had between Katie’s upper and lower body.
“Get the husband out of here,” the doctor murmured, and one of the male nurses took me by the arm. I didn’t even so much as blink at being called Katie’s husband.
I struggled. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my family!” I cried out.
“Sir, please, we need you to leave the room,” the male nurse said quietly, but I wasn’t listening.
“Katie? Katie!” I called, and she didn’t move, she looked as white as a sheet.
It took two male nurses to pull me out of the operating room away from my girls.
I paced the lobby ten times before I asked about Katie. “I need an update,” I said. “Katie Martin, she just gave birth to twins.”
“The doctor will be out as soon as he can,” the nurse said in an irritated voice.
“You don’t understand. That’s my family in there, and I need to know if they’re okay,” I said desperately. The nurse finally looked up at me, a flicker of understanding flashing across her face.
“I’ll go check,” she said softly, and it seemed like she was gone for an hour before she came back, the doctor with her.
He was covered in blood.
I sat down hard in one of the lobby chairs, my knees going weak. “She’s... she’s not...” I stammered, and the doctor put a hand on my shoulder. I was terrified he was going to tell me that they did everything they could...
A sob built in the back of my throat, but then I finally tuned in to what the doctor was saying.
