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“I don’t belong here,” I murmur, punching my clothes into the bag, then turning to grab my underwear and socks.

“But you just got in. You passed the initiation.”

“No I didn’t.” I shake my head, that sick feeling rising up my throat.

“Yes, you totally did. Aimee will be inviting you to the initiation ceremony and?—”

“I won’t be going.” My voice is flat, but my face must be bleeding whatever the hell I’m feeling, because Teah gasps.

Then she backs out of the room, running down the hallway with an urgent shout. “Aimee! We need you!”

I roll my eyes. Great, now I have to deal with her too. This is just perfect.

El Presidenteappears in my doorway just as I’m securing my bag. I hitch it onto my shoulder and give her a pointed look.

She smirks. “Going somewhere?”

“You know it.” I knock her shoulder as I brush past her.

She lets out an indignant huff and clips after me. “What do you think you’re doing? You’ve got a place in the house. You made it.”

I spin back, anger flashing through me. “I don’t want a place in this house. I don’t belong here.” I let out a hard laugh. “It kills me to say it, but you were right all along.”

Aimee’s eyes flash, her bright gaze fierce. “You’re not leaving. You passed the test. Dad expects you to stay. You can’t just walk out now.”

“You don’t want me here!” I spit back. “How many times have I heard you say I’m not Sigma Beta Mu material? I get it. I’m not one of you, and that’s fine. I’m sick of playing your stupid games anyway.”

She rolls her shoulders, her eyes darting around the other girls before she puts on a smile. “I never said I didn’t want you here.” She lets out a plastic laugh. “We just wanted you to prove your commitment, which you did. Right, girls?”

They nod, but their usual enthusiasm is a little lackluster, no doubt squashed by the vibrating tension in the air.

“Mikayla, come on. Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a Sig Be sister now.”

I shake my head, pausing in the entranceway. “I’m not. I never wanted to do that initiation, and I was gonna pull out of it. If Ethan hadn’t come along without me knowing, he never would have heard you, and…” My voice trails off, my chest aching as I relive that look on his face again.

Her blue eyes sparkle with amusement. “But he did, so lucky you. You’re in.”

“I’m out.”

Her face bunches with indignant confusion, and then she gasps. “Wait. Oh, do not tell me you actually fell for that asshole.”

I clench my jaw, staring down at the shiny tiles. “I never wanted to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt anybody.”

“Oh please. He deserves it. The guy is a shameless man slut. We did you a favor.”

I shake my head, my chin bunching as I’m tortured by his sad face, his biting words… the way he gently pushed me out his door.

I’ve lost him. I screwed up, and I lost him.

It hurts so fucking bad.

“Mikayla, seriously. Stop acting like a crazy person,” Teah pleads. “You don’t need some guy. You’ve got us now.”

I glance up with a frown. How are they not getting this? Why would I want them over Ethan—or any of the guys in Hockey House, for that matter? They’re my people.

The thought that I’ll never step foot in Hockey House again clutches my throat, making it hard to breathe.

Shit. I’ve lost it all.

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