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MAREN: NOT NIPPLE BRUSHING!
LORELAI: Ha-ha, laugh it up, Beauty Queen.
SHELBY: So lean… more. Seal the deal, Jones.
MAREN: He wrote another poem last night.
LORELAI: OH I KNOW
MAREN: *smirk* I’ll just bet you do.
SHELBY: Does he know you know he writes those? (whew that’s convoluted)
LORELAI: NO. And I don’t know if I can tell him.
LORELAI: It might make him feel weird that I know.
MAREN: Weirder than you knowing makes YOU feel?
LORELAI: Doesn’t make me feel weird. Unless weird is a euphemism for “excessively turned on.”
SHELBY: I’m with Mare. He posts on Instagram. It’s not like he’s writing it in a locked diary or something.
SHELBY: Are you sure you’re not reading into things because you’re actually looking for a repeat of history?
SHELBY: Because it sounds like you might be.
MAREN: No judgment, obviously.
SHELBY: Absolutely not.
LORELAI: Ugh.
LORELAI: See, it worked last time because it scratched multiple itches (ie: Fuck off Drake and also that whole “wonder what it’d be like to have sex with Huck?” thing)
LORELAI: with the benefit of getting on a plane the next morning and never having to face him again…
MAREN: No strings attached.
LORELAI: Exactly. The cleanest of breaks.
SHELBY: But now you work together and see each other all the time and also you’re very single, so rebound sex isn’t a thing.
LORELAI: Right. So this would be a fuckbuddies sitch and I saw that movie.
LORELAI: Twice.
LORELAI: It’s super messy. And I don’t want things between Huck and me to ever be messy.
SHELBY: Well, you could, you know, date him. Like for real.
MAREN: Ope!
LORELAI: *hyperventilates* Not happening.
MAREN: The way I see it, you have two options: Find another fuck buddy to call after Craig’s poetry gets you all hot and bothered or invest in more batteries for your vibrator.
LORELAI: Are those my only choices? Surely we’re forgetting something.
